Ben Affleck + Jennifer Lopez = Bennifer Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina Kim Kardashian + Kanye West = Kimye Tom Hiddleston + Taylor Swift = Hiddleswift Tom Cruise + Katie Holmes = TomKat This is what happens when a single celebrity is so lacking in charisma […]
Marriage is such an archaic concept. A wedding ceremony is closer to signing-over ownership than a declaration of love, with spouses being no more than chattel draped in overpriced finery. Like a game show where you “bank” on your assumed best prize (in this case the best you […]
You really have to wonder how and why Nick Cannon is famous. Looking like a reject Wayans brother who fell off the talent tree and missed every branch on the way down, this wanker can’t host, can’t rap, can’t act, and can’t do stand-up, but somehow he’s doing […]
Publish anything online about the Coronavirus these days, and you’ll most likely be relegated to the arse-end of search engine hell, especially if you disagree with the status quo. That’s perfectly fine, because this article is about Bill Gates and I’m as qualified to write about his life […]
I can’t recall a time in which our terrestrial TV schedule was this poor, in fact there hasn’t been a worse time for British television. Take a look at your TV guide, it’s chock-full of shows about baking, pottery, sewing, and painting, like your dead grandparents have risen […]
Gareth Malone is an annoying little git who plagues our television sets with his utterly mundane choir-based reality shows which masquerade as “good causes”. As a choirmaster and television presenter, Gareth has absolutely no charisma at all, looking more like a choirmaster’s accountant than someone representing the arts. […]
Why do the most mediocre comedians become household names? From panel shows, clip shows, to talk shows (as well as performing stand-up comedy to an audience of dullards) Rob Beckett is seemingly on every channel. But why? How did Rob become famous? Is it because he’s a distinctive […]
The mid-to-late ’90s and early ’00s were chock-full of shite Pop music. With bling bling “players” ruining Hip-Hop and backward-baseball-cap-wearing “dudes” wrecking Rock, music was being steered by both sides into a ditch, a ditch that was smack-bang in the middle-of-the-road. Nu-Metal which was a combination of these […]
Priti Patel is the latest in a long line of sellout minorities in politics. Being Britain’s first female, B.A.M.E. (Black, Asian, And Minority Ethnic) Cabinet Minister could have been a noteworthy moment for our country. Unfortunately, Patel once told BBC Radio Kent not to label her “BME” as […]
6ix9ine aka Daniel Hernandez, is the epitome of an overrated and overexposed rap star. His discography is shorter than his recent jail sentence and his songs are usually doltishly-titled (“Keke”) and composed of dumbed-down couplets (“slang” and “hang”) not to mention identical rhymes (“out” with “out” and “dumb” […]
Robert Rinder is a bland yet irritating wanker. With all the looks and personality of a boiled egg, it takes less than 10 minutes of watching him to realise he stinks. This dull twat made his career as a barrister, at one point defending British servicemen charged with […]
Remember that one-shit wonder by Nizlopi called “JCB”? It was the most embarrassingly mediocre songs from the mid-noughties (which is saying something given the level of shite released at that time). The track was wannabe sentimental and wannabe emotional, but the lyrics were country-bumpkin-basic and extremely cringe-inducing. With […]
Abbey Lee Kershaw is yet another model who has pussyfooted her way into Hollywood. It seems that the fashion show catwalk leads directly into Tinseltown and anybody with skinny legs and a gaunt face is allowed to strut into it. If like me, you watched Mad Max: Fury […]
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