Ridley Scott is such a disappointment, both in terms of filmography and personality. His films have been waning since the 1980s, slowly getting more and more mundane as the years have progressed and yet his legion of toady fans (which includes critics and members of the public) keep […]
I can’t recall a time in which our terrestrial TV schedule was this poor, in fact there hasn’t been a worse time for British television. Take a look at your TV guide, it’s chock-full of shows about baking, pottery, sewing, and painting, like your dead grandparents have risen […]
Twist is billed as a British crime drama and a modern day take on Charles Dickens’ novel Oliver Twist, but what it actually is; is excrement disguised as a movie. Directed by Martin Owen (nope, me neither) and written by a gaggle of unknowns, Twist seems less like […]
BritBox is a very bland streaming service that’s “created by BBC and ITV” but seemingly cooked-up by a Brexiteer; someone who’s overly-impressed with our country but who’s failed to check what we have the rights to before waving the Union Jack. With its drab, dark grey interface and […]
It’s sad as fuck to see what’s become of ’80s, ’90s, and ’00s comedians. Just look at Ade Edmondson, Eddie Izzard, Noel Fielding, and Frankie Boyle, a bunch of old-arse dullards either moralising, presenting middle-of-the-road shows or pandering to the mainstream. In their prime, they were all hilarious […]
Gareth Malone is an annoying little git who plagues our television sets with his utterly mundane choir-based reality shows which masquerade as “good causes”. As a choirmaster and television presenter, Gareth has absolutely no charisma at all, looking more like a choirmaster’s accountant than someone representing the arts. […]
WW84 is yet another disappointing sequel that makes the first film look like a masterpiece by comparison. Wonder Woman 1984, like its predecessor, is a movie that’s too long and paced far too steadily to be a satisfying comic-book action blockbuster. There’s numerous dips in interest which means […]
Mank is a biographical drama about Herman J. Mankiewicz who with Orson Welles wrote the screenplay for Citizen Kane. Who wrote what is a matter of contention and that’s what this film purports to be about. Citizen Kane or “C.K. One” as I like to call it (on […]
Édgar Ramírez is one bland bastard. To me, he’s a Venezuelan Gerard Butler; a bearded, middle-aged, dull-arsed, pudgy-faced “actor” who should have pursued his original career rather than inflicting his non-skills on all us cinema-goers. Whilst on the subject of hack Scot actors, Edgar is a little bit […]
Why do the most mediocre comedians become household names? From panel shows, clip shows, to talk shows (as well as performing stand-up comedy to an audience of dullards) Rob Beckett is seemingly on every channel. But why? How did Rob become famous? Is it because he’s a distinctive […]
I don’t know what it’s like in Canada, Australia, or New Zealand, but seeing every celebrity on television here in the UK from mid-October onward wearing a Remembrance Poppy, is to put it lightly; irritating, not to mention fucking ironic. The same people who keep harping-on about fighting […]
What do you do when you’re a washed-up has-been who’s last few creations have been trash? You begin to retread over your past, recreating your most popular works – that’s what. Let’s face it: The Dictator and Grimsby were utter shite, so Sacha Baron Cohen has recently been […]
There’s always several movies released each year that aren’t “bad” in the conventional sense but because they’ve been so overrated by critics, they feel all the more disappointing when you finally watch them. Ever since its film festival run, Saint Maud has been lauded as “chilling”, “disturbing”, and […]
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