Would a celeb apologise for being a hate-filled bigot if they weren’t famous? From Mark Wahlberg to Leigh Francis, public apologies come thick and fast when a celebrity wants to come across as ashamed, but if they were a regular Joe, they’d most likely continue in their prejudiced […]
Seeing the quote “The Year’s Get Out” written over the poster, I took this to mean that Candyman is this year’s overrated horror movie that cliched white liberals will enjoy and typical white, anti-BLM conservatives will hate. Taking a look at the Google reviews, I think I’m correct. […]
Why do we Brits make shite horrors these days? We’re the home of Hammer Horror and Amicus and we produced so many classics back in the golden era of horror, but all we create now is pretentious shite that resembles a film student’s final year flick. This brings […]
Reminiscence is a science fiction mystery romance, but the real mystery is why this sci-fi trash was ever put into production. Maybe because HBO’s Westworld was a success, its writer and producer Lisa Joy was given a chance to write and direct a movie for WarnerMedia. In case […]
Free Guy is a science fiction action comedy that ticks all the right boxes if you’re a Ryan Reynolds fan or someone who just wants to indulge in mindless, popcorn-chomping fun. If you’re curious to know what the bastard child of The Truman Show (1998) and They Live […]
When I wrote a review of Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, a commenter described a feeling of “Ryan Reynolds fatigue” which I have to say, I completely agree with. Back in the noughties, Reynolds was in a few shitty B-movies, and even when one of his films somehow made its […]
I was all for living a quiet life, being a small-time film critic and keeping shtum about politics, but since the literal arse-end of the entertainment industry are fucking with my reviews, I may as well have an old-school, What Went Wrong With rant… Remember when Islamic terror […]
Jolt, an Amazon Original Movie starring Kate Beckinsale, sounds like a cross between Crank and Hulk but the end result is closer to Kick-Ass and Kingsman in terms of its wannabe-cool superhero and wannabe-relevant comic-book tone. The crux of this film is Lindy (Beckinsale) a protagonist with a […]
Twist is arguably one of the worst films ever made, at least that’s what I thought when I legally watched the film back in January this year, after which I wrote a harmless review. After being slapped with a spurious DMCA copyright complaint by CTW Anti-Piracy on behalf […]
A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from my local cinema which opened with the sentence: “Just what did Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff get up to between Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War?” and my response was “Who cares?”. That whole saga is well […]
The Tomorrow War would surely be a flop had it been released in cinemas. A cheap-looking, hackneyed-plotted, science fiction film heaving with militarism isn’t something movie-goers were hankering for but the writer of Deadfall (nope, me neither), the director of The Lego Batman Movie, and “the worst Chris” […]
Seemingly working their way through the function buttons of a keyboard, F9 is the latest film in the Fast & Furious franchise. The plot of this, the ninth movie, doesn’t need much of a synopsis as most of the series is now a convoluted shambles akin to soap […]
In The Earth is one of those boring, pretentious horror films that crop-up now and again, after which a slew of critics proceed to kiss it’s arse. Written and directed by darling of English cinema Ben Wheatley, this is another one of his overrated movies obviously made on […]
WHAT WENT WRONG WITH...? 
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