Ever since the T-101 wore Elton John-style, star-shaped sunglasses in Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, the Terminator franchise has gone from bad to worse, becoming a lacklustre and extremely disappointing, self-referencing, joke of a series. The writers keep endlessly recycling lines (“come with me if you want […]
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A sequel that spoils the original film doesn’t really deserve a spoiler warning and that’s exactly what Terminator: Dark Fate does. Imagine if there was a Back To The Future sequel where Marty is dead and a very old Doc and Jennifer piss around travelling through time with […]
SPOILERS AHEAD I preface this review with a “spoiler” warning but Fractured isn’t a movie that’s in any way surprising or twist-filled and it can’t therefore be “spoiled”. The film-makers may think they’ve created a hospital-based Flightplan but the way in which this flick is directed and edited, […]
Gemini Man is a sci-fi action movie directed by Ang Lee starring Will Smith. Smith plays Henry Brogan, a 51 year-old retiring government assassin who is double-crossed in his final mission. After killing a good guy (a biological scientist rather than a bio terrorist) Henry himself becomes the […]
If you’re a long-time subscriber of Sky, Virgin, Comcast, DirecTV, or any other alternative, you’ll know that the price rises over the last two to three decades have become exorbitant. These companies of course, bundle television, internet, landline, smartphone and phone contracts together to make their cost seem […]
Iris Apfel popped-up out of nowhere and instantly became a face everybody recognised with a name that nobody had heard of. You’ve probably seen Apfel’s mush on the telly (mainly in advertisement campaigns) but I bet most of you don’t know (or care) what she did or why […]
Space Movies can easily be sorted into three categories: Sci-Fi that is primarily focussed on action, thrills, or horror (Alien, Life, Event Horizon), weighty (and wannabe weighty) films which are only superficially Sci-Fi (2001: A Space Odyssey, Solaris, Contact), or “real-life” Space Movies which purport to be so […]
Robert Rinder is a bland yet irritating wanker. With all the looks and personality of a boiled egg, it takes less than 10 minutes of watching him to realise he stinks. This dull twat made his career as a barrister, at one point defending British servicemen charged with […]
Set 27 years after the events of It Chapter One, It Chapter Two finds the members of the Loser’s Club all grown-up. Set in 2016, the group meet once more to defeat Pennywise The Dancing Clown, the personification of kid’s nightmares (or so I thought – more on […]
Jade: The Reality Star Who Changed Britain, is a pretentiously-titled, three-part documentary that charts the rise and fall of a pudgy, pug-faced prat who gained fame after appearing on the reality show Big Brother. The programme takes around three hours to convince its audience that Jade Goody was […]
Hooray, the “Fallen” film series has managed to achieve their goal of creating the most lacklustre Action trilogy in the history of Hollywood! If you’ve never had the non-pleasure of viewing these lumps of filmic dung, I can only describe them as sporting an extremely tawdry look (think […]
Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood is one of the most overrated films in recent years and it’s made by the most overrated director of our time. As all the posters and trailers state, this is Quentin Tarantino‘s 9th film (it’s his 10th if you include his Grindhouse […]
Remember that one-shit wonder by Nizlopi called “JCB”? It was the most embarrassingly mediocre songs from the mid-noughties (which is saying something given the level of shite released at that time). The track was wannabe sentimental and wannabe emotional, but the lyrics were country-bumpkin-basic and extremely cringe-inducing. With […]