I cannot stand the slang term “Like A Boss”, not only because it’s been used more than a choirboy in a Catholic church but also because of its confused and misplaced sentiment. If you’ve been living on another planet, the expression “like a boss” means doing something well, extremely well in fact. Just open up YouTube and watch one of those clip compilations to see what this phrase is supposed to mean…

This phrase has been a corny Hip-Pop staple for over a decade now but it’s also evolved into a meme over the years and recently an advert as well as a shit Hollywood film. The noughties was the time “Like A Boss” first began to gain traction. Remember Slim Thug acting like a cornrowed Buddy Ackerman in his music video? Inadvertently, this was an appropriate way to act, because a boss can be an arrogant bastard who revels in his authoritative position, looking down at his workforce like a dick, shouting the odds like a prick, and chucking papers about like a cock.

So what is a boss really? Well firstly and most importantly, it’s the endorsement and validation of hierarchy, that someone who is paid more, wears an expensive suit, and has a better parking space is somehow the most skilled at their job and that in turn means he or she can bark orders at those below. In a historical setting, a boss was your “better” in terms of class or skin-tone. After slavery ended for instance, the word “Master” was replaced by “Boss” but the connotations of being one’s ruler or overseer never went away.

Back to the present, how many times have you known a boss who’s simply some suit who’s licked so much arse that they’ve been raised up one rung just to acknowledge the said licking? And if a boss’s tongue isn’t dry from licking corporate butt, he’s more often than not a bully, someone who gets-off on being in charge. Why would you wanna be like them? Give any arsehole a title and a bigger bank balance and they forget they’re just human. No amount of money is gonna make you a god.

Fuck You Bossman.

This is a previously unpublished article from 2020. There was an alternative illustration (below) but it looked like Oliver Twist was the boss rather than his Master (which was my intention) so I created the one above to make my point clearer.