What Went Wrong With… Nick Cannon?

A caricature of Nick Cannon wearing a turban and other head accessoriesFrom The Vaults Of

You really have to wonder how and why Nick Cannon is famous. Looking like a reject Wayans brother who fell off the talent tree and missed every branch on the way down, this wanker can’t host, can’t rap, can’t act, and can’t do stand-up, but somehow he’s doing all this shit and more. Maybe wearing no socks with dress shoes and a flapper turban like he’s been chucked head-first into Oxfam, means people are distracted by his mid-life crisis outfits to bother listening to his bland-arsed output. Sure, there’s lots of mediocre stand-ups, a load of hack actors, and a tonne of trash rappers about, but like a sex-starved burglar at a McVitie’s factory, this fucker takes the biscuit.

Cannon Balls.

From The Vaults Of

This is an unfinished and previously unpublished article from 2014 and caricature from 2021.

3 replies »

  1. What a truthful short article I read from you.At least somebody said he gets way too many opportunities that alot of people would love to have.

  2. You’re back! You should talk about how lame Robert Pattinson is. Maybe he’s been in some good movies but they weren’t good because of him. And he’s certainly not good enough for the part of Batman. Zoe Kravitz sucks too.

  3. It’s a shame that this article was not finished back in the day, let alone in 2022. Nick Cannon’s antics back then and now have both been frustrating and entertaining!

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