What Went Wrong With… Ryan Reynolds?

A caricature of Ryan ReynoldsWhen I wrote a review of Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, a commenter described a feeling of “Ryan Reynolds fatigue” which I have to say, I completely agree with. Back in the noughties, Reynolds was in a few shitty B-movies, and even when one of his films somehow made its way toward the forefront of cinema (Blade: Trinity or The Amytiville Horror remake for example) they were so excruciatingly bad that you didn’t notice Reynold’s crappy contribution to them. In the twenties however, with two decades of filmic excrement left in his trail, you can now clearly see the skid mark of Ryan Reynold’s filmography and the reason behind it… Ryan Reynolds.

Once touted to play “Fletch” in the utterly unneeded remake of the comedy classic, Ryan Reynolds is a contemporary Chevy Chase; playing the same character in every bloody film until the gross goes down and he eventually buggers off and leaves us with a back-catalogue of mostly forgettable comedy. At least Ryan passed on Fletch (although now that John Hamm is playing the part, it’s still gonna be shite) but for some reason he’s yet to pull-out of remaking another classic comedy, Clue, as though he and his contemporary clique of ageing one-trick crapsters (which includes Jason Bateman’s smug mug) could out-do Tim Curry, Michael McKeen and the rest of the fantastic eighties’ cast. I wonder who Reynolds and Batemen will play in this Clue remake? Themselves perhaps? Like these two twats always do.

Of course, giving the audience your same-same shtick isn’t a new phenomenon, especially in comedy. Ryan Reynolds is merely doing a modern-day “Jerry Lewis”. Given his ever-so exaggerated speech pattern and facial expressions, Ryan also looks like he’s influenced by early Jim Carrey but both Lewis and Carrey at least ventured into other genres such as drama once and awhile.

So why do film-makers and fans put-up with Ryan Reynolds’ repetitiveness? Is it because he’s handsome? Maybe, although he looked like a Nu-metal douche back when he was in his 20’s and in his 40’s he reminds me of one of those teachers who insists you call him “Ryan”. I suppose Mr. Reynolds is good-looking if he worked at a school or in an office but in the pantheon of Hollywood cock he’s just average. A clean-cut, lanky, coiffured tit in a suit, emitting his slightly sarky, effeminate voice in every other line. How many films can you be a smarmy, wise-arse, sarcastic vanilla twerp without the audience figures dropping? Well, the answer it seems, is lots.

Turn on any Ryan Reynolds movie and you’ll see Ryan Reynolds playing, err… Ryan Reynolds: two thirds cocky, one third sheepish. It’s bewildering how many of his flicks feature the same guy albeit with a different name and costume. Hold on. I’ve now repeated my point three times. Hey, I might as well do it again as a homage to the “actor”. Here goes…

Ry-Rey has played the same character in every fucking film he’s in, making Rebel Wilson and Gerard Butler‘s filmography look positively varied. Reynolds must possess some balls or some kind of special skill in distraction and subterfuge to read a script in the exact same way every time, not to mention a talented agent to thrust this beanpole forward to play the same person regardless of the role on offer. I mean, take a look: The Proposal – same character, Hitman’s Bodyguard – same character, R.I.P.D. – same character, Deadpool – same character, 6 Underground – same character, Pokémon Detective Pikachu – same character, Free Guy – same character. And what about Self/Less, Safe House, Criminal, Green Lantern, and Life? Yup, he played essentially the same frigging character! Even when he appeared in a BT advert or an Armani campaign, he was still the same smug bloke. From Von Wilder to Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, it’s obvious that the best thing Ryan Reynolds has ever done is Blake Lively.

Judge Reynolds.

9 replies »

  1. I can’t stand Ryan Reynolds acting. I don’t think there is one movie of his that I like. Even Deadpool is annoying. I wish people realized he’s not playing THE deadpool, just Ryan Reynolds wearing the costume.

  2. This fucktard ruined the Pokémon movie for me. The only time he is varied in that movie is when he voices Pikachu…

  3. He’s using Deadpool to promote his movies now too. Which I saw coming. Honestly was he the best person to play the character? I know a lot of people think nobody else can play Deadpool now. It’s like he owns the character. But I can’t help but think that gave him an undeserved career boost.

  4. I’m glad you wrote this Ryan Reynolds gets way too many movies.Plus he’s kinda of corny I liked the Voices and Buried which both were hauntingly disturbing.And Deadpool I was surprised was the best superhero movie funny action packed and a nice conclusion to Salt N Pepa Shoot song that made 2016 only best thing about that year.It even put Batman v Superman and the rest of Marvel to just deja vu.But other than he seems to be every white guy’s Will Smith.

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