Celebrities

What Went Wrong With… Adam Driver?

Photographs of actor Adam Driver young and old

When I first saw Adam Driver on screen, I thought he had the appearance and demeanour of a second-rate serial killer. According to Wikipedia, as a child, Driver set fire to things and set up a “Fight Club” after being influenced by the film. This means I wasn’t too far from the truth since most psychopaths start out by committing arson, exhibiting aggression, and possessing violent fantasies.

Like many other mediocre murderers, Adam Driver then joined the military who seem to siphon-off potential killers. After the September 11th attacks, Adam signed-up to the Marines, although he was medically discharged after he dislocated his breastbone whilst mountain biking 🤔. Similar to Canibus and countless other celebrities, Adam Driver was conveniently discharged before he saw any genuine action. Isn’t it odd how famous fuckers never return home limbless or in a body bag? Of course some people see the military as a fully-fledged career and for many it’s the only way to get a decent education, but as someone who saw it first-hand, only hate-filled, Islamophobic, fake-patriotic scum joined the armed forces after 9/11 and I have no doubt that Driver is of that ilk.

This bent-faced Baptist now has the gall to star in The Report (a movie set in the aftermath of September 11th). Surely it’s ironic that the lead of this movie is the very person who believed the government’s information regarding the War On Terror? The furore over being attacked and a sense of retribution that was whipped-up by Bush and his cronies post-9/11 led Adam to potentially kill unconnected people and here he is in a film denouncing the torture of those “enemies”. Even though most sane people in 2001 could see there was no connection between an ex-C.I.A.-funded-and-trained Saudi Arabian allegedly bringing down the Twin Towers and declaring war on Iraq and Afghanistan (and subsequently murdering hundreds of thousands Iraqi and Afghani civilians) morons like Driver thought there was some kind of correlation between stateless terrorists and random Muslim countries. Unfortunately these wankers outnumbered the rest of us but they now get to prat about condemning the very thing that got them all unnecessarily hot and bothered. Go figure.

The Report is an anti-torture film courtesy of fake-liberal Vice Studios and creators of mediocre filmic pith Amazon Studios. This film is guilty of naivety and contradiction on an idiotic scale; it’s pro-war but anti-Bush administration and it’s pro-intelligence but anti-torture. Anyone not gargling on the frenulum of the government knows that intelligence agencies, falsified intelligence, and general wrongdoing is intertwined with all military conflicts. In modern society (if ever) you cannot have a war without the intelligence agency’s involvement and those who lack scruples and morals (people who readily doctor evidence, instigate insurgents, supply arms, and profit from conflict) are hardly going to care about due process and the Geneva Convention. So what’s the point in acting all surprised that war brings the attention of certain murky agencies who think they’re above the rule of law? More importantly, what’s the point in bragging about whistle-blowers and moralistic suits on the peripheries of the War On Terror almost two decades after the event? When it actually mattered, the lead of this film (and probably lots more of the cast and crew) were baying for unrelated Islamic blood. Who gives a flying Boeing 767 fuck what these faux-liberals think now? And as far as I remember, it wasn’t just C.I.A. black sites that tortured individuals, what about the army personnel at Abu Ghraib? And that’s just the high-profile case that we civilians know about. My point is that all branches of the military are complicit in evil depending on the ethics and morals of the individuals leading, obeying, and fighting the war. According to shite flicks like this, it’s only the C.I.A. who are shady but the Army, Navy, and Air Force are infallible saints. So is calling an air-strike on a place of worship, school, or hospital less morally reprehensible than flying people to undisclosed locations and torturing them? Nope, but Hollywood will have you vent at specific agencies rather than the entire concept of war (a completely unjust war at that). Fuck your belated and therefore pointless “Report”.

This overrated twat actor then gave a TED talk about how he went from the Marines to Hollywood. The description for this video below reads: “Before he fought in the galactic battles of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Adam Driver was a United States Marine with 1/1 Weapons Company. He tells the story of how and why he became a Marine, the complex transition from soldier to civilian” 🤮 In truth, Adam’s journey wasn’t at all complex, it was as I assumed: contrived and self-congtratulatory with some retrospectively toned-down jingoism.

Aside from being a mountain-biking hero fighting for justice and liberty, Adam Driver is first and foremost an actor. And on that note, it’s a strange contemporary phenomenon for substandard-looking, non-character-acting pricks to ascend the Hollywood ladder of fame. Adam is most famous for starring in the Star Wars sequel trilogy alongside Daisy Ridley, the pair of them answering the question “what would it look like if Justin Long and Keira Knightly were less attractive?”.

Most of Adam Driver’s films have been forgettable (Logan Lucky, Paterson) or overrated (Star Wars, Marriage Story) or both. BlacKkKlansman was probably his best film but Driver wasn’t the contributing factor to that movie’s success. These days, even if an actor delivers a monotonous, monotone performance in every flick they appear in, as long as the film itself is watchable, the actor will also go on to be critically acclaimed. It’s assumed that someone is a good actor simply because they’re not a bad actor with the media praising anyone who isn’t wooden, but surely noticeable talent has to be present in order for someone to be declared gifted? It’s not enough that you’re not as bad an actor as Ruby Rose or Mike Weinberg, you have to have discernible skills in order to be worthy of praise. Similar to Benedict Cumberbatch and Anne Hathaway, Adam Driver is not only dull-looking, he hasn’t yet given us a standout performance. Driver’s acting range as far as I can tell, goes from sullen all the way to dejected which is apparently enough to warrant widespread acclamation.

Aside from his one-note acting, many fans will point to his “striking looks” but to me, Adam Driver looks like Joey Ramone with Proteus Syndrome; he is somehow noticeable but unremarkable at the same time. Like many people, I first saw him in the TV series Girls but alongside the saggy-hack Lena Dunham (who looks like Angela Merkel fucked Fat Nick) Adam Driver’s face didn’t look so strange. But now that Dunham and Driver are miles apart and Adam is on the big screen, his odd face (which looks like a ponce from the 17th century wearing a big-ears headband) is the only thing that stands out, not his unvarying yet overrated acting.

Get The Fuck Out Of The Driver’s Seat.

14 replies »

  1. This has to be the worst piece of fucking shit I’ve ever read. I don’t even know who the fuck the author or this unknown actor is above. I’m reading an angry apologist for terrorism, dressed up as some review of some unknown actor. If he’s known to you, you must have bad taste in music. The author sounds like the left wing black leaders in the USA. They use racism as a way to stay relevant and gain power in the black community. The truth is that they have an interest in meeting the community down and feeling victimized. The author here probably grew up listening to that type of leader, and now uses the same tactics. When I grew up in the Bronx, my father warned us about the local leaders who spewed that shit. My brother didn’t listen and fell in with the Black Israelites. He died with a needle in his arm. No help from his so called brothers. I didn’t fall for that shit or any other person trying to make me angry at another person or race. If an individual judged my black fucking face, that was his problem. The most judgement came from people who looked like me but told me I needed to think just like them. I’ve done more for my community as a licensed electrician than all of those motherfuckers put together. I have 14 employees, 8 of them black. Fuck you people trying to fire up black and brown people for your own feeling of self importance.

    • That has to be the worst fucking comment ever left!

      1. If you don’t know about the author or the actor in question, why the fuck are you here? What did you type into Google? “Stuff I know nothing about that I’ll argue against because I have nothing better to do with my sad life”?

      2. If Adam Driver is an actor, how the fuck do I “have bad taste in music”?

      3. You mean “apology for terrorism” not “apologist for terrorism” although this is neither you dumb fuck. Or do you think weapons of mass destruction still exist? Know any concrete links between 9/11 and Iraq and Afghanistan or do all brown people from the Middle East to Asia look the same to you?

      4. How the fuck did you go from Adam Driver to black leaders and racism? I never once mentioned race (unless you’re dumb enough to think “Muslims” are a race. Actually, I wouldn’t put it past you).

      5. Nobody gives a fuck about your father or brother under an article about Adam Driver, although maybe you should have helped your bro out instead of letting him get into drugs. And what kind of self-respecting Black Israelite sells or takes heroin? Are you even for real? You know that the intelligence agencies are famous for steering conversation and infiltrating groups which consist of alternative thinkers. You’re like a shite agent provocateur.

      6. You moved to New Rochelle, one of the whitest areas in New York, and probably wank off every night to Fox News into the star-spangled banner and then you think you’ve achieved something in life? You get irate with someone else’s opinion when you have zero knowledge about the topic at hand, simply wanting your angry-yet-idiotic pro-war stance to be heard. Who’s “self important” in this scenario?

      7. You go off on a tangent about black and brown people, racism, and some bullshit about your electrical business but it has fuck-all to do with Adam Driver being overrated or him being a fake army vet turned Hollywood activist. Did you stick your wet cum-fingers in the socket before you typed that shit?

      Take your fucking medication old man.

  2. Interesting read.I didn’t know about Adam Driver’s career before the movies. I always thought he was an over rated actor.

  3. Finally someone who doesn’t think he’s amazing. He is so monotonous and overrated. Have you noticed how he has no feeling in his eyes except maybe one? So boring.

  4. I´ve been saying this for years and i felt alone and thanks to you i dont feel alone anymore.

  5. The 9/11 hijackers were trained in Afghanistan in al-Qaeda camps. Following their training at al-Qaeda training camps in Afghanistan, they were chosen by Bin Laden and al-Qaeda’s military wing. The Taliban, who ran most of Afghanistan at the time, provided support to al-Qaeda bases there. The leader of the United Islamic Front, Ahmad Shah Masood, actually warned western authorities about incoming attacks from al-Qaeda before he was assassinated. After 9/11 the US government demanded that the Taliban hand over Osama Bin Laden and destroy al-Qaeda training camps. The Taliban refused.
    To say that Taliban run Afghanistan was unconnected to 9/11 betrays a profoundly poor understanding of recent history or geopolitics.

    • How utterly fascinating Mr. Driver. You can list all your amazing facts about Afghanistan but please remember with all that shite in your arsenal… you invaded Iraq too which had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11.

      15 of the alleged 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia but the U.S. didn’t invade or bomb that country because god forbid if you scupper one of the biggest arms deals in United States history or annoy the number 2 supplier of oil.

      Plus it’s not a declaration of war if 20-something people from four different countries attack another country since their countries didn’t instigate the attack. The alleged 9/11 conspirators and attackers committed an act of terrorism as individuals not as a sovereign country so why declare war on two random countries? Oil, opium, racism?

      The entire War On Terror was utter bullshit. Anyone saying anything to the contrary has a poor understanding of recent history or geopolitics.

  6. I googled “Adam Driver is a bad actor,” and found this wonderfully accurate article. His delivery is indeed mechanical. Once you notice him emphasizing every third word (old trick for memorizing lines) you can’t unhear it. His emotions run the gamut from A (angry) to B (bellicose).

    And you have no idea how spot on you are about him being a psycho.

  7. “This bent-faced Baptist…” yeah, he does have a weirdly-bent face LOL. I’ve heard of how he was involved with the church as a kid but I don’t think he’s a true Christian, otherwise he’d never have done Girls and other shows and movies he was in. Hmph!

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