Caricatures

What Went Wrong With… Abbey Lee Kershaw?

A caricature of Abbey Lee Kershaw by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

Abbey Lee Kershaw is yet another model who has pussyfooted her way into Hollywood. It seems that the fashion show catwalk leads directly into Tinseltown and anybody with skinny legs and a gaunt face is allowed to strut into it. If like me, you watched Mad Max: Fury Road and wondered who the weird-looking actor yelling “schlanger” was, well, that’s Abbey Lee; a so-called “supermodel”, “musician”, and “actor”.

Kershaw is yet another catwalk model who looks like she’s suffering from malnutrition or is doing the “cocaine diet” (oh my, how distinctive). I don’t think Abbey Lee is particularly qualified to be a model but I suppose physical looks are subjective, acting on the other hand, is not. Talent is talent; you either possess it or you don’t and it’s sometimes painfully obvious when someone shouldn’t be an actor. Abbey Lee Kershaw is definitely one of those people.

Being the daughter of an Australian Rules Football player, maybe the rules of nepotism should have forced Abbey to run like the clappers rather than perform behind a clapperboard. When she’s taking part in terrible movies (Gods Of Egypt, The Dark Tower, and Elizabeth Harvest) Abbey doesn’t stick out amongst all the other fragments of feculence but when the film is watchable it’s clear she shouldn’t be in this sector of entertainment. Thankfully, aside from Mad Max, much of Kershaw’s filmography is pants like her Calvin Klein underwear shoot.

All this does make you wonder: how many genuinely talented actors are turned down in favour of this skeletal Aussie? It’s not like Abbey Lee is a Sasha Luss (the exception that disproves the rule) this model-slash-actor has zero on-screen presence.

Looking like Lauren Hutton if she’d been forced through a postal tube by the dull-end of a broom, Abbey Lee Kershaw is on the unwanted model-turned-actor scale. She may not be as bad as Ruby Rose but she’s on there, somewhere between Cindy Crawford and Milla Jovovich and with her skinny-arsed frame she’d probably fit between the two of them without anybody noticing.

Welcome The Stranger.

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