What Went Wrong With… Anne Hathaway?

A digital caricature of Anne Hathaway by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

Why is Anne Hathaway famous? This perplexing question could keep you awake on many a night with the mental picture of her nightmarishly goggly eyes and Chesire Cat smile embedded in your retinas. This celebrity conundrum is made all the more baffling if you type Hathaway’s name into Netflix or Amazon and view any of her dismal movies. If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to watch the disappointingly depressing The Dark Knight Rises, the woefully depressing Interstellar, and the massive depressing turd known as Colossal you’ll know what I mean (not to mention the two unneeded realisations of Alice In Wonderland, the terrible Get Smart, and oh yes, the clamorous, cheesy, and err… depressing Les Misérables). You could be sat there in front of your TV well into the early hours with a magnifying glass, some anti-depressants, and the IMDb app and still not figure out why Anne Hathaway is working in Hollywood.

With the exception of A Devil Wears Prada, Anne hasn’t made a single film worth watching. She churns out non-stop trash like a high-rise garbage chute and yet for some unknown reason she’s a highly-paid, award-winning actor. With her grandfather a radio personality and her mother an actress, it makes you wonder if nepotism has anything to do with her becoming famous because it quite clearly isn’t her star-quality (of which she has none). Looking like an Afghan Hound suffering from epiphora and with a smile that resembles something from an Aphex Twin music video, Anne’s unvarying expression spans whole filmic genres – from musicals, science fiction, drama to comedy – that samey look is present in everything she appears in.

I wonder if it’s because Anne Hathaway shares her name with William Shakespeare’s wife, maybe casting directors and producers in Hollywood keep hiring her thinking she’ll bring something of the Bard to her latest film. What they end up with however is her same-same performance; slightly cheerful, slightly bemused, slightly teary-eyed, her acting is identical whether she’s a masked superhero, a party girl, or a frigging chief scientist.

With Hathaway attracting so much internet hate over the years including anti-fan-clubs and Facebook pages (known as “Hathahaters”) as well as a few hashtags (#hathahater and #hathahate) there’s just something about the actor that rubs people the wrong way. And whether it’s her face, her personality or something altogether different, it can’t be ignored that large swaths of people just can’t stand Anne Hathaway.

Having successfully climbed the Hollywood ladder over the years, the mainstream media of course have to protect their investment so recently there’s been a concerted effort to try and dissuade and even silence her critics (or “haters” as the media disparagingly labels them). But just because the first page of Google is now filled with praise and anti-criticism, it’s hard to overlook that many people still detest Miss Hathaway.

For me, the idea of “unwarranted” hatred is bit of a distraction. Sure, Anne Hathaway has never said or done anything (at least as far as I know) to warrant actual loathing and hostility but her overrated acting and her tediously similar performances are enough to pause for thought and question why she’s a highly sought-after actor. And did I mention that god-damn smug smirk of hers? It’s simply annoying to look at especially given her largely disappointing filmography. I mean what is she so happy about? Making non-stop celluloid-shite?

Looking like someone tried to sculpt Mädchen Amick out of a block of Wensleydale cheese on a hot day, Anne Hathaway is not exactly someone you want to look at for prolonged periods of time and repeated 90-minute viewings of her irksome mush should make everybody question her ranking and status in Hollywood.


8 replies »

  1. Interesting conversation regarding Anne Hathaway’s new public persona:

    All it takes is to mention #BlackLivesMatter or say you’re anti-racist and all of a sudden you’re no longer annoying (even though her political opinions have nothing to do with her being an irritating actor)

    • Yep, I’ve had the same thoughts when I saw Ocean’s 8 : she’s playing every character the exact same way. I did like the Devil wears Prada, but I re-watched it recently, and she’s really not that good in it either, while Blunt and Streep are killing it.
      Maybe her star-power has to do with her family, I’d reckon it’s also because she looked like a nice person ( like the beer test in politics)

  2. I AGREE WITH EVERY WORD!!! But @louis who wants to have a beer with Anne Hathaway? She looks very boring like she’d be smiling at everything but have nothing to say herself

  3. She may not have a lot of talent at acting, but she clearly does have talent at consistently getting work acting and being well paid for it. I try to keep an actor’s talent or lack of separate from their politics. Some darn fine actors have politics I disagree with and vice versa, They have as much right to their opinions as you and I do. That is her birth name, so her parents picked it, not her. Make fun of her lack of acting chops for sure, but she is not responsible for who her parents are, what they named her and she has a right to free speech.

    • C’mon, this isn’t about free speech is it? It’s not like she’s writing the films she’s in. This article is about a hack actor being employed and gaining fame without having any skill (even you admitted that she has no talent at acting). I couldn’t really give a toss about her politics and I would put her fake stances aside if she was a great actor but she’s not, so I can pick apart her entire being. Nepotism and her name was just a suggestion I made as to why she’s cast because as you’ve acknowledged, it certainly isn’t her acting that made her popular. Her so-called talent at “getting work and being paid” is surely the talent of her agent, so again, I ask you: why is she famous?

  4. Might it have something to do with her Disney connections? Alot of stars seem to start out in Disney productions and then go on to become starlets in Hollywood and eventually shave their heads, go blonde, and bomb. To my knowledge the only time Anne has shaved her head or gone blonde was Les Miserables (which I am proud to say I walked out in the middle of because I refused to sit through any more of it). Other than that, she seems to have gone the way of many child actors.

    • She has been cast in Robert Zemeckis’ upcoming Witches remake as the Grand Witch. Apart from the boy, that’s one of the lead roles, so Hollywood (for some reason) continues to back her despite all her flops.

      The Disney boys seem to have much better/credible film careers (Zac Efron, Ryan Gosling etc.) although I suppose Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are still going strong in the music biz.

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