Remember when Riff Raff showed up on the scene wearing cornrows and gold teeth? He looked like a culture-appropriating joke; part caricature, part racist stereotype, the whole look was embarrassing to say the least. A white artist trying oh so hard to look “black” is embarrassing enough but judging by his finished “look”, the only black people Riff Raff knew were corny, media-made rap cliches. Flash forward a few years and out popped Post Malone, a singer-slash-rapper whose look was not too dissimilar to Riff Raff’s; cornrows… check, gold teeth… check, tattoos… check, shit music… check. Back when Malone’s “White Iverson” was playing everywhere on the radio, I found myself once again dumbfounded, why were people buying into someone who was quite clearly devoid of talent and who had all the looks of a frayed hessian sack?
Malone, a bastard child of Paul Wall and Jared Leto’s character in Panic Room, today releases his second album Beerbongs & Bentleys, a title that mentions two of the most cliched and contrived objects in the world of rap; an overpriced automobile that went out of style when the noughties ended and every college jock’s favourite drinking implement. This title sums up Post Malone perfectly; gaudy, out of touch, sporting a wannabe urban facade but white through and through.
Post’s vocal style too is fast becoming out of date, with his average voice masked by an autotuned camouflage, singing mundane trash over monotonous production. Hell, even the man’s name is contrived, since he selected his moniker using a rap-name generator (just like that lame Donald Glover’s chosen stage name “Childish Gambino”). If you need to use a website to figure out what to call yourself, you know you’re no artistic genius, and yet these derivative cornballs are signed and allowed to record so-called artistic works.
At this point in his career, I guess it no longer matters that his original look and style was that of a culture vulture (an amalgamation of black Hip-Hop fashion and sound with a smattering of superficial Rock aesthetics) at this point what’s astonishing is that the public is still buying into this purveyor of pish.
Over a year after his Stoney album was inflicted on the world and that garbage track “White Iverson” blew up, Post Malone has yet to make anything other than Hip-Pop filler. He makes music that fans of mediocrity jump on but after the initial hysteria, it’s nothing that’ll stand the test of time. And yet despite making some of the most obvious and hackneyed Hip-Hop around, Malone had something to say about the genre in which he works. This walking, talking, performing joke had the gall to say that Hip-Hop is devoid of “real shit” adding that “If you’re looking for lyrics, if you’re looking to cry, if you’re looking to think about life, don’t listen to Hip Hop”. The irony of this is that Malone adds not even an ounce of “real shit” to the genre, he apparently prefers to listen to Bob Dylan, but he himself is more Bob The Builder with his basic bullshit.
Looking like a homeless A$AP Yams impersonator, I guess Post is visually Dylanesque rather than lyrically. I suppose looking unkempt is all part of being a wannabe credible performer, forget content and emotion, all you have to do is look as though you haven’t showered in a month and the talent will begin to exude from your pores (as well as B.O.). Let’s not forget that in the ironically titled “Rockstar” Malone sang “I’ve been fuckin’ hoes and poppin’ pillies, man, I feel just like a rockstar. All my brothers got that gas and they always be smokin’ like a Rasta”. How clever. Apparently banging bitches and getting doped-up is all it takes to be a Rock star and the only aspect of Rastafarian culture he’s aware of is smoking marijuana. My, how much depth and meaning he puts into his tracks… not. With song titles like “Go Flex”, “Same Bitches”, and “Candy Paint”, Post Malone is hardly challenging the stereotypes of Hip-Pop, and with his grill and tattooed appearance he’s hardly breaking new ground in fashion either, so what was the point of his idiotic outburst?
Looking like a sprouted potato with some pubes glued to it, Post Malone is an embarrassment to the eyes and ears. Like Earl Sweatshirt once said; who let this slide? Hopefully people stop listening to his shit music so in the future there’s a period of Hip-Hop that we refer to as…