Caricatures

What Went Wrong With… And What Is Wrong With… Jeanine Pirro?

A caricature of Jeanine Pirro by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

Fox News was removed from Sky’s list of channels here in the UK so I guess there’s no more criticising its skewed politics by us Brits. Fox News if you don’t know, is a news channel dedicated to bringing the world some infuriating right-wing bias. Check out my articles on ex-presenters Bill O’Reilly and Michelle Malkin for a taste of their hate-filled stupidity if you’re unaware of the channel’s content.

Back to the topic of Sky Broadcasting, on the odd occasion that I wanted to be entertained by some conservative mentalists talking shite about the world, I’d press 509 on my remote and enjoy the shear madness that is Fox News. But, I guess I can no longer tune in to this channel, get pissed off or laugh at their imbecilic output and then comment about their ludicrous viewpoint. Before I was cut-off, the one person I recall, aside from Sean Hannity, who incensed me on an almost weekly basis was Judge Jeanine Pirro (or more accurately Jeanine Pirro since she is no longer a bonafide judge). Murdoch’s Sky may have pulled the plug on this weirdly entertaining channel and in the process may have halted criticism of it’s opinions but not before I get this article out there.

Now before I go on, I’ll point out that Fox News has a real knack of attracting self-hating, sellout minorities; Michelle Malkin, Zuhdi Jasser, and Jeanine Pirro to name but a few. Either consciously or subconsciously because the channel is a white paradise of extreme patriotism, ultra-nationalism, and outright bigotry, these people of colour usually come across as worse than their white counterparts. This is because their stance is simultaneousness hypocritical and ironic, it’s like a heightened version of their Caucasian colleagues so they can fit in among Fox’s far-right, white shite.

With her brown complexion and Italian surname, for a long time I thought Jeanine Pirro was some Italian-American with a pole up her arse but it turns out she’s a Lebanese-American with a pole up her arse. I may have mistaken her ethnicity but there’s no mistaking that stick-keister-combo. The fact that Pirro is an Arab makes some of her opinions all the more moronic, I mean just by existing she proves that a. Arabs can be other religions than Muslim, and b. people of colour can be mistaken for other creeds and cultures. This is a pertinent subject since much of Fox News is centred around the concept of white, American, male superiority over its “black” and “brown” population (in addition to exhibiting white, right-wing, Christian American exceptionalism).

In Fox News’ world, Jeanine Pirro, a brown woman who hides the fact that she’s Arab by living off her ex-husband’s Italian surname, and who even speaks derogatorily about her own ethnicity every time there’s an act of terror, she is exactly the type of ethnic minority they prefer. If you are a person of colour who wants to work for Fox News, you too must denounce your ethnicity on a daily basis and suck white, right-wing American dick so you can fit in with your bigoted workmates. This is something Jeanine willingly does, even in an interview with a Lebanese news website (Al Mohajer) where she admits that as a Lebanese-American growing up in the U.S. she experienced racism, she ends with a sentence of subtle Fox News self-loathing: “I remember the kids used to make fun of me…called me ‘Camel Jockey’ and ‘Fat Lips.’ I am very proud of my lips… of course as you get older they get thinner”.

It’s funny that this “fat lipped, camel jockey” (white people’s words, not mine, and people who are probably Fox News viewers) she was bullied because of her ethnicity and yet Pirro herself bullies and singles out minorities live on TV. When the San Bernadino shooting was reported for example, Jeanine went on one of her nonsensical rants saying “The neighbors said [the shooters] looked like Muslims, they were bringing in boxes, and we didn’t want to say anything because we didn’t want to be politically incorrect. That’s hogwash! We’re in a new time right now”.

So, according to Jeanine’s own set of idiotic rules if she were to pick up a few boxes and walk into her home, whether it’s deliveries, gifts, or whatever, her neighbours should report her for being a potential terrorist! I guess every time she receives a package from Amazon her neighbours should be frantically dialling the FBI. Hey, she’s a brown-skinned Arab carrying boxes into her property, enough to warrant suspicion according to Pirro. What a sellout tit.

This isn’t her only utterance of Islamophobic idiocy. Her infamous diatribes against Islam usually follow every act of terror, her asinine opinions have to be seen to be believed, her pearls of wisdom range from “Kill Them!” (Charlie Hebdo Attack)…

…to “Bomb Them!” (Paris Attack)…

…“Them” I assume is all Muslims, you know, the “Islamic cancer” that she once referred to. Forget the millions of Muslims who have never done anything remotely illegal or terror-related in their lives, but you know, forget about all the white Christians who have. Typical Fox News double standards.

On the topic of contemporary Islamic terrorism, an often overlooked fact is that it was the Neo-Cons that Fox News supported during the aftermath of September the 11th who were responsible for the creation of ISIS in the first place but we wouldn’t want blame to be placed anywhere near government and military leaders Fox championed. C’mon Pirro, all the post-9/11 “bomb them, bomb them, keep bombing them, bomb them again!” schtick has directly led to the destabilisation of the Middle East and has given power to Islamic State, so it’s kinda your own fault that Charlie Hebdo and San Bernardino even happened.

Aside from her self-hatred, Islamophobia, and militarism-slash-jingoism, Pirro is also staunchly pro-police (surprise, surprise). In another case of irony, as an Arab she is oblivious to racial profiling, and as an ethnic minority she is ignorant to institutional racism when it comes to law enforcement and the judicial system. She once blamed Barack Obama for stoking “the flames of racial hatred, resentment and divisiveness” but she never criticises Donald Trump who does this on a daily frigging basis. Yet another contradictory standpoint. Watch this for her moronic opinion on police brutality, apparently all black people need to learn to respect the police and stop “resisting”…

Pirro has also been caught race-baiting and lying about people on her show, I assume to win over her channels’ dedicated anti-Black Lives Matter viewers…

With all this anti-black, anti-Muslim, anti-liberal, pro-war, pro-conservative, pro-white, pro-police opinion, the one thing to be glad about is that Jeanine Pirro is a former Judge. It’s always preferable that a horrid dick like this is spewing her venomous bias on television and not in a court (thank heaven for small mercies) anyway, I thought justice was blind?

And speaking of blind, the most astounding fact about Jeanine Pirro is that she was included in People Magazines’s 50 Most Beautiful People in 1997, probably by some far-sighted fuckwit suffering from face blindness. I mean c’mon, what the flying patriot missile is beautiful about this dog? It sure isn’t her out-of-style hair-sprayed do which is set rock-hard by what looks like shoe polish, tar, and ten cans of fixative, and it definitely isn’t her Botoxed face. As you witness her shaking with pent-up prejudice, doddering like the haggard old bitch she’s fast becoming, ranting at the camera dressed like some pushy real estate agent stuck in the noughties, it’s obvious she is neither beautiful inside or out. She is a foul fuckwit whose outward appearance is a projection of her inner self. Her self-hatred and bigoted opinions have moulded her hideous facial features and her name is now synonymous with her corrosive viewpoint. Jeanine Pirro is a wizened old crow with an expression that can crack mirrors, her name alone if uttered has the power to send horses, especially Arabian horses into a frenzy like Frau Blücher in Young Frankenstein.

For me, Jeanine Pirro is very similar to Joan Rivers, no, not that she’s dead (although she looks it) but rather that she too is a miserable old bigoted bitch that only imbecilic fawners have respect for. “She says it like it is!”, her fans usually yell. Like Rivers, Pirro is a tough-talking, wrinkled, shrivelled-up New York twat that really needs to wake up and smell the ahwe, because if some prejudiced prick like Donald Trump has respect for you (and tweets about you) you must be the cuntiest of cunts to ever have lived.

Judge Dread.

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