Many people today tune in to the news just so they can hear what they’re already thinking; to get fired up about an issue they feel strongly about, basically for some reassurance that their viewpoint is correct. Knowing this, the news channels provide the news with a built-in bias in order to cater to their viewers. If you look at news as an industry, a form of political cajoling and pandering in order to gain an audience, you’ll see that it has more in common with entertainment than factual reporting. It’s plain to see that if a news organisation selects a certain presenter, a certain writer and editor, if they pick and choose certain news stories and favour particular issues over others, they can then present the “news” as a form of political reinforcement for its salivating fanbase. A news company can take a story and tack on an issue for specific demographics to be inspired or riled by, giving otherwise unconnected or even meaningless stories a left or right-leaning spin. Safe to say that every single news outlet does this, no organisation is immune to bias and spin. This construct however is the antithesis of what news is supposed to be.

It’s always good to have an alternative view of things, especially the news, but in today’s world most news channels and news sites that claim they’re “alternative” are just presenting you with bias and lies under a different guise. And that brings me to the subject of Russia Today. When this news channel first appeared in the West, it seemed like a refreshing, liberal news outlet, and if you were switching channels from Sky News or BBC News over to RT, you heard the headlines slightly differently; without a pro-West, pro-UK, pro-US, pro-war slant. The more and more I watched this channel however, I couldn’t help but notice that it had an agenda too, in fact the more I tuned in, the more I realised that Russia Today is no more alternative than ITV is an alternative to BBC or CNN is an alternative to Fox News.

Now I’m not going to delve into the nitty gritty of Russia Today and the specific stories they choose to tell their viewers, all it takes is a brief glance at some of their broadcasts to notice their obvious liberal pandering. If you persist in watching the channel for more than a few minutes, you’ll see that it is yet another fake-liberal enticing construct. Take one of its shows “The Keiser Report” for instance, at one point they brought out fellow fake-left mouthpiece Russell Brand, because you know, he’s an authentic liberal (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)…

Just in case any of the right are watching, the same “Keiser Report” then spoke about “Fake News” with, wait for it… Alex Jones, oh the irony!

They also have a show called “Sputnik Orbiting The World” with none other than George “Forget About My Antics On Big Brother” Galloway. It’s almost like Russia Today is fishing for an audience and since they’re aware that the mainstream left and right are already being catered for elsewhere, they try ever-so hard to entice the “alternative” left. But, since RT are not really liberals themselves, they drag in all the usual suspects, contrived people who we know are counterfeit leftists.

This kind of obvious “alternative” fakery isn’t the only thing wrong with the channel. Even of you ignore their wannabe-alternative spiel, there’s also the weird “look” of everybody on RT. It’s like an episode of The Twilight Zone where the UK and US have been taken over by Russians from the 1990s.

Without sounding racist (although I guess I will) many of the presenters on RT come across like Russian spies, bad Russian spies at that. With their out-of-date haircuts and out-of-fashion clothes, their outward appearance never really looks believable when they try to come across as “Western Liberals”. Take the show “Redacted Tonight” presented by Lee Camp as an example, it has to be said that there’s something very strange about this presenter. Along with the show’s fake-sounding laughter coming from the crew like someone trying to imitate The Soup or The Big Breakfast, the end result is a weirdly fake-looking show; picture Last Week Tonight presented by a Renaissance Fair participant. The show might touch on issues with a superficial “political satire” facade but Camp’s out-of-style hair alone makes you question what’s being said. Redacted Tonight’s aesthetic is like a flashing sign that something’s not quite right…

This isn’t the only suspect programme on Russia Today. Many of its shows sport amateur-looking titles that resemble a YouTube channel, and this amateurish-fakeness also extends to pretty much every presenter involved. In that respect Russia Today is like the first McDonald’s restaurant that opened in Moscow in 1990, it might have all the right ingredients to superficially suggest its “Western” but the more you look around, the more you can see that you’re not in the United States, and like that McDonalds, Russia Today‘s style is very much stuck in the past. Just take a look at Watching The Hawks‘ “anti-mainstream media” advert, it resembles some horrid, late 90s/early 00s perfume ad (I guess it goes well with the show’s corny-as-fuck Hip-Hop intro music they sometimes play).

Russia Today also occasionally drags in what looks like the corpse of Larry King for some more pre-millennial, out-of-touch shite…

I don’t know why, but aside from looking and feeling out-of-style, another trait of Russia Today is that most of their presenters look, for lack of a better word… odd. Just look at “Lionel”; a scrawny, squeaking, shouty sock puppet lawyer who looks like a possessed Jim Henson creation…

And speaking of Jim Henson, there’s also Peter Lavelle, a bland, bow-tied puppet-looking bloke who presents “CrossTalk”…

Then there’s Sophie Shevardnadze of “SophieCo.” who mopes about looking like a miserable, bulimic Shailene Woodley…

Caleb Maupin, with his ginger crew cut prats about on the street looking like a melted clone of Michael Rapaport…

There’s also Max Keiser of “The Keiser Report” (you know, from the video at the beginning of this article, the goggle-eyed guy usually sat on a stool). There’s also Afshin Rattansi from the show “Going Underground” looking like a failed Pasha Bocarie impersonator…

Sam Delaney and his UK show “News Thing” is without a doubt the worst programme on the channel. This “satirical” show sports the worst atmosphere of any show… ever. There’s an eerie yet amateurish quietness on the set and the presenter and guests look like they’re taking part in a Drama class in some dingy studio. “News Thing” looks like its trying to emulate Chelsea Handler’s old E! Entertainment show (minus the token little person)…

Ignoring Russia Today for a second, an idiotic thing about today’s news is that in trying to entice fans and supporters they bicker and feud with each other. Al Jazeera here are “exposing” Russia Today for example…

Fox News regularly moans about how the “left-wing media” are propagandists. Err… pot, kettle…

Likewise, RT recently had the gaul to call other news channels such as CNN “counterfeit” (weirdly CNN is the mainstream-right’s go-to hate-figure along with the BBC so that doesn’t do much for RT‘s liberal believability). If you watch Russia Today for long enough it’s plain to see they have an agenda and a slant too, they’re no better than the networks they belittle and undermine…

So with all this news-to-news shit-flinging, it makes you wonder what the fuck is going on with the entire news media. If a news channel were dedicated to bringing you the news and therefore telling you the truth, they wouldn’t need to pester you day in and day out and outline how “fake” the other side was. If a news organisation simply spoke the truth, they wouldn’t need to wage a war against their rivals, they wouldn’t feel the need to appeal to their followers, and they certainly wouldn’t need to assure you that they’re “fair and balanced” (although once Fox News realised how obvious that motto sounded they dropped it). The truth of the matter is that all the news channels are as fake as each other, they all seem to be using this buzz term “fake news” more than that orange dick-stain Donald Trump, but they fail to realise that anything spun or sensationalised, anything edited or given a left or right twist is automatically fake. Instead of all their flashy, overblown titles, tickers, split-screen interviews, and other entertainment-based contrivances, shouldn’t they all be first and foremost concerned with bringing us the fucking news rather than hype and distraction? But I digress.

Back to the subject of Russia Today, I have to concede that it does air some worthwhile news stories and documentaries now and again, and yes they sometimes say things that you’ll never hear on other channels, but I guess that’s all part and parcel of playing “the other side”. Watching RT these days is like listening to Alex Jones and InfoWars back in the early 2000s – yes it’s nice to hear an alternative viewpoint but deep down you know there’s an agenda to their stories. At some point they might even do a “Prison Planet” and become overt conservative bigots just to give alternative news a bad name. Actually that isn’t as far-fetched an idea as you may think. Recently, because Trump became “pals” with Putin, the channel has now switched into a “why are you knocking Trump?” mode. Err… maybe because he’s a leader with no leadership skills, maybe because he’s a liar, a hypocrite, a bigot, a xenophobe, maybe because he’s as corrupt as the politicians and the media he disses. But because that doesn’t gel with a pro-Putin RT, they incessantly talk about how the “mainstream media” are giving him a hard time… especially about his ties to Russia. I thought Russia Today were liberals? How does that compute when it comes to dick-riding Trump?

Today it’s a given that the BBC, CNN, and Fox News are agenda-driven fakes but as long as the mainstream know that you know, they’ll churn out faux alternatives like Russia Today to try and entice you toward another one of their bullshit outlets. Whether they’re intention is to subvert or to to simply appeal to an uncatered-for demographic, one thing’s for certain, the news is yet another form of divide and conquer; pick a side, bicker amongst yourselves, and fail to see that you’re all being oppressed.

If you’ve never watched RT, I’ll break it down for you. In any given day Russia Today will basically state that; the mainstream right and the mainstream left are both corrupt, America and the West are wrong about almost everything, the West’s leaders are idiots…. but Putin can never be critiqued or lambasted. America oppresses its black population, Israel oppresses it’s Palestinian population… but Russia oppresses nobody. Almost everything being reported on other news channels is a conspiracy unless of course it’s occurring in Russia. Oh and I forgot, everything Vladimir Putin does or is connected with can’t be criticised; President Putin supports President Assad so RT is pro-Syria, President Putin is friends with President Trump so RT is anti-anti-Trump. Wow, how alternative, how left, how un-fake… not.

It’s a strange idea that a sham channel such as this is still seen by many as a bona fide alternative to other mainstream news outlets. If that’s what you think then I suggest you watch a little closer and hear what they’re pushing. You’ll then realise that Russia Today is no more genuine than any other news channel appearing on your television. As their favourite Russian-hooker-piss-loving-Putin-bum-buddy American President would say, this is… Fake News.

Russia Today, Tomorrow The World.