I, like many people in Britain was surprised when I heard that James Corden was to host “The Late Late Show” and now that the programme has finally arrived in Blighty as part of Sky’s On Demand service, it’s even more perplexing as to why CBS chose this mediocre, so-called funnyman to replace the more charismatic Craig Ferguson. Now before I go on (and I usually do) I have to point out that I’m all for injecting new energy into an old format and I therefore approve of finding “new blood” as it were, but why would anyone hire this weak-ass haemophiliac? Craig Ferguson apart from his disappointingly clichéd reaction to 9/11 was at least funny, and his show which featured puppets and a pipe was unique and at times hilarious. James Corden’s incarnation of the show however is the complete opposite; it’s very middle-of-the-road, and its overall light-hearted tone feels out of place for a show that airs after midnight. On the topic of Ferguson, it was quite annoying that for the umpteen years and two-thousand-odd episodes that Craig held the reins of “The Late Late Show” it was never broadcast on British TV (despite the man being born in Glasgow) but now that the programme has become lame, mainstream, and which now features our worst export since Imperialism, a broadcaster in Britain finally sees fit to air this shite. But I digress.
James Corden if you don’t know, is a perpetually-grinning, smug cunt from Buckinghamshire whose voice never really broke and whose career in comedy, theatre, film, and television seems to be going from strength to strength despite him being woefully inadequate at every discipline he inflicts himself upon. If you need an introduction to the man, go online and watch him telling his fake-sounding anecdotes on Channel 4‘s “Very British Problems” and you’ll bear witness to his vexatious style of so-called humour which is extremely irritating, not to mention monotonous. Once you’ve familiarised yourself with Mr. Corden and his David-Brent-style facial expressions, please feel free to let me know which aspect of his persona makes him the top-choice for a talk-show, especially an American talk-show.
Corden bagging “The Late Late Show” is as (if not more) incomprehensible than him receiving an OB-frigging-E, in fact “how” and “why” are two questions that could and should be posed to either of his baffling appointments. “The Late Late Show” was particularity puzzling, I mean before he started hosting did Americans even know who he was? At least in Britain we saw him “progress” from Alan Bennet’s “The History Boys” to that overrated crap-a-thon “Gavin And Stacey”, and let’s not forget the shite “The Wrong Mans”. He also played Paul Potts (the winner of “Britain’s Got Talent”) in that biographical shitfest “One Chance” – well that’s an impressive résumé, James.
When it came to presenting I guess I have to acknowledge that he did at least host bits of “Comic Relief” but he wasn’t that great at it. He also headed that wanky sports panel show “A League Of Their Own” which I’ll point out only carried on for eleven series because Sky 1 has one of the worst schedules on British Television. It’s quite strange that these two “hosting” gigs was somehow enough to convince the big-wigs at CBS to hire this annoying tit.
I’d love to know which of James Corden’s amazing performances persuaded someone from the Eye Network to first call his agent – was it “Fat Friends” or “Doctor Who” do you think? Maybe some Exec at CBS was watching James’ awe-inspiring work in “Lesbian Vampire Killers” and thought “this is the guy who should replace Ferguson” – that makes perfect sense. In all likelihood I doubt it was that straight-forward, and who really knows the mountains of cock Corden had to potentially suck to get this job, but regardless, it’s all very confusing. James Corden succeeding Craig Ferguson as the host of “The Late Late Show” is about as bewildering as Jimmy Fallon replacing Jay Leno for “The Tonight Show”, hiring a worse replacement seems to be an American Broadcasting trend.
Like some kind of prisoner swap, we in Britain have been given Matt LeBlanc for “Top Gear” and all of you in the States have now got James Corden for “The Late Late Show”, but after this international twat-exchange, nothing has been achieved but the ruination of multiple shows (although “Top Gear” was bollocks to begin with). Since all this tit-trading seems to have cancelled each other out and neither of our countries are any less filled with wankers, what was the point?
Similar to Chris O’Dowd and Matt Lucas, James Corden, a relative nobody arrived at the shores of America without any real credentials and he was given £10 million for a job which replaced a man from Scotland, and all of you Donald Trump supporters are worried about Mexicans taking your jobs? Your country has a very skewed perspective on immigration. Having said this, it has been reported by various tabloids that Corden wants to come back to Britain when his multi-million dollar contract comes to an end, but I’d urge CBS to renew his tenure at whatever cost since most of us in the UK don’t want the fucker back.
Corden It Off.