What Went Wrong With… And What Is Wrong With… Donald Trump?

Caricature of Donald Trump by featuring parody dictionary definitions of his name and surname

Donald Trump until recently, was known simply as that real estate twit with a bird’s nest on his noggin that made Alex Zane‘s hairdo look normal by comparison. This billionaire with a la-di-da upbringing, nepotistically followed in the footsteps of his real estate developer father, and during the latter half of the twentieth century became known for building eyesores in various metropolises. This one time Miss Universe and Miss USA owner, was also host of The Apprentice proving that only self-absorbed pricks host that show regardless which country it’s made in. Having triumphed in the reality TV, giant Lego set, and women-ogling sectors, this University of Pennsylvania graduate, wrestling fan, and an all-round twat now wants to acquire the most important title in every rich-prick’s medal case; the presidency.

It’s weird that even though certain candidates like Joe Biden are labelled “too old” to be President, nobody says the same thing about Mr. Trump. For someone who looks like Leatherface with a tumbleweed glued to his head, it’s pretty obvious he’s nearly 70 years old (that’s only three years younger than Biden). That comb-over isn’t fooling anyone except the mainstream news media (for the record I don’t approve of Biden either). Speaking of the mainstream media, Donald Trump despite being an obvious walking sideshow distraction, garners masses of press coverage. If you watch television, read online magazines, or scroll through social media, you’ll be confronted with an incessant deluge of bullshit surrounding his latest non-antics. He is mentioned almost constantly on the 24 hour news channels despite this imbecile talking out of his arse on most occasions (although with that face who can tell whether it’s words or flatus coming out of that wizened, pinched hole he calls a mouth).

Turn on any news channel and you can catch Trump bringing up the issue of immigration almost non-stop. You can witness him spewing utter venom about how he’d put an end to birthright citizenship and deport all parents of “anchor babies”. You’ll hear him promising to halt the influx of “criminals” and “rapists” from across the border by building a huge wall (which all megalomaniacal overlords seem to build since they can’t afford a Death Star). So if you vote for Trump in 2016 he’ll pretty much deport everybody with an accent; painfully ironic since his mother was a Scottish immigrant, his paternal grandparents were German immigrants, his wife Melania Trump is a Slovenian immigrant and even his ex-wife Ivana Trump is a Czech immigrant. I guess his mother and his crusty harem are all exempt from his anti-immigration and anti-citizenship crusade but everybody else has to bend to his hypocritical plans… pot calling the kettle black anyone? (Although he’d probably resent being likened to anything black including inanimate objects).

Donald Trump has gone from being a Republican, part of the Reform Party, a Democrat, an Independent, and now back to being a Republican again. This flip-flopping makes him one of the most untrustworthy candidates in recent times, spewing hatred possibly because this kind of spiel is popular with the types of voters who salute the star spangled banner before they watch The O’Reilly Factor, the type of voters who stock-pile ammunition for an imaginary race war where Latin immigrants, African American gangsters, and Arab terrorists all join forces to destroy their white-picket-fenced, abode-cum-air-raid-shelter. Hey, if there’s an unrepresented demographic out there, you can bet your balloting-ass they’ll be a politician trying to bag their vote, and Trump has this section of society covered.

In recent years, every frigging politician whether they’re left or right, seem to be peddling the idea that they “hate political rhetoric” and “despise politicians” probably because they finally realised the majority of the public feel this way. Although these lines have now become their own twisted political hyperboles, Trump (a white billionaire heterosexual approaching his seventies) is hardly the antithesis of the western governmental stereotype, so God knows why the working and lower-middle-classes are falling for his populist garbage. I’m the type of person who thinks voting and elections are corrupt and futile anyway; they tell you what you want to hear, then they do the exact opposite once elected as the blinkered masses wait for the next four years in a never-ending loop of fuckery. If however, the elections aren’t rigged like I and many suspect, Donald Trump would be the gravest, most dangerous, and most horrific leader in U.S. history. If he becomes President of The United States it’ll be like electing Greg Stillson from The Dead Zone… America will be completely and utterly fucked.

On a side note, for someone so staunchly against immigration, when taking into account that he resides in a country belonging to the Native Americans, I’d love to know when Trump himself is planning to fuck off. Although which place would take a wrinkly old cunt with an up-himself personality complete with a spun sugar hairdo… Hades, perhaps?


14 replies »

  1. Electing Donald Trump as president is like voting Joey Essex from TOWIE for prime minister. The elections are getting worse nowadays. An idiot can now make a run for an electoral position.

  2. Have you heard the latest? Trump wants to ban all Muslims entering the United States which is not only unconstitutional but xenophobic and bigoted. I really don’t understand why he has a following.

    • Trump is a hate-filled arse-magnet. Anybody considering voting for a rich, white, heterosexual, male thinking he’s going to make America better for anybody other than his own demographic, has lost their tiny mind.

      Plus when Dick Cheney thinks someone’s plans are too extreme, they must be some kind of uber-xenophobic, super-cunt.

  3. Cory – I think it’s a sad reflection of the fact that politically we are in Hell. And perhaps that political correctness (properly understood) has gotten to such a breaking point that anyone who says what’s on their mind, whether it’s offensive, wrong, or not even the truth, becomes valuable in the minds of an electorate that’s had it with career politicians deft in the art of twisting words and breaking promises .

    • Sometimes I wish Trump gets elected just to prove that he’s just as fake as all the politicians he and his supporters “are sick of”. Four or eight years from now when Mexico hasn’t paid for his wall, when ISIS has morphed into some other enemy, and America isn’t “great again” I’d love to be there and say I told you so.

      Donald Trump’s spiel is the natural progression of political platitudes, he has picked an unrepresented demographic within the U.S. (disaffected white middle-America) and he’s selling them a lie like every other politician, his hollow sentiments will entice this section of society as Barack Obama did with idiotic liberals and naive minorities. Trump is nothing but a politician wearing a different disguise, he has never and will never “say what’s on his mind” he simply says what he and his team thinks are on his voters minds, that’s a political tactic, and it’s sad that the masses are falling for his bullshit.

      Donald Trump is as fake (if not faker) than any politician that’s come before him, people are idiots if they think he’s any different.

  4. You should mention the central park 5. Trump took out an add calling for 5 black and latino boys to be put to death, then refused to apologize when it turned out a serial rapist committed the crime

  5. Im glad I found your website.I wish people should had read this article before the primaries and election started last year look what it’s become 2017 it’s been looking like Beyond Thunderdome meets Idiocracy what the hell the man doesn’t know what he’s doing all he trying to do is dismantle everything a black man had done.

    • Aww, far-right baby’s mad because they took Parlor away from him. Plus your orange-faced daddy no longer has Twitter. Now you nitwits have no choice but to vent here. Oh poor you.

      By the way JOHNNY, since your name is derived from the Middle Latin Johannes, which is from the Ecclesiastic Late Latin Joannes, which is from the Greek Iōannes, and Iōannes is from the Hebrew Yehanan… when the fuck are you pissing off back home, wherever the fuck that is?

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