The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon is one of the most uninteresting talk shows on television. The show is a mix of the terrible and the tedious, with Fallon exhibiting an ineptitude for nearly every aspect of the broadcast. Tune in and you’ll almost certainly witness him fluffing his lines during his monologue-slash-intro, and then you’ll probably catch him umming and erring throughout his interviews. His conversational technique is so bad that he is routinely forced into some kind of game, song, or sketch in order to detract from his lack of presenting skills. The equally lame Steve Higgins who looks like a Butler masquerading as an announcer, serves as Jimmy’s hype-man and partner-in-crime. Higgins is no Andy Richter, and along with Fallon, this dull duo do their very best to create the very worst kind of television.
When not slurring his lines or fumbling his punchlines, Jimmy Fallon is usually giggling like a schoolgirl as he sucks-up to any and everybody he interviews. Watching him pretend-laugh at everything his guests say, makes you cringe with embarrassment and annoyance, and his penchant for non-stop sycophancy makes someone like Alex Zane look sincere and professional. So let’s sum Jimmy Fallon up; he has zero interviewing skills, he isn’t that funny, and he’s an unashamed sycophantic suck-up… so why is he presenting an internationally broadcast, multi-million dollar talk show?
Not that Jay Leno was some kind of comedy genius, but when he was being replaced, why hire the most convenient, most conventional, and most mainstream choice available? God forbid these TV Executives search for some actual talent; it seems that these days every gig is handed over to the nearest kiss-arse, flunky, hack. I mean did some Exec watch the film Taxi, see Fallon doing a contrived Cuban-accent-cum-Tony-Montana-impression and think “this guy’s hilarious, we should pay him $11 Million for a talk show”? The thought process involved in making Jimmy Fallon the presenter of The Tonight Show is mind-boggling, and if he as the replacement is less funny, less watchable, and less edgy than Jay Leno, then something is definitely wrong with NBC’s hiring policy.
Fallon and Higgins aren’t the only things wrong with The Tonight Show, there’s also the ex-Jazz-Hop sell-outs The Roots as the in-house band. Why do I call them “sell-outs” you ask? Because this once credible Hip-Hop group who rapped “the principles of true Hip-Hop have been forsaken, it’s all contractual and about money makin’” are now performing with lame guests like the un-true and money-centric Trinidad James. Not only that, but I once witnessed them singing Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” when Taylor Swift walked on to the show (simply because the song contained the word “1989” and that matched Swift’s album title). This kind of falseness just goes to show how shitty today’s entertainers have become. I mean, The Roots can sell-out as much as they want, but don’t drag real Hip-Hop into your quest for fakery. But I digress, back to Jimmy Fallon…
With his corny predictable jokes and his faux stoner’s voice like a college drop-out stuck in the early noughties, Jimmy Fallon first popped up on Saturday Night Live around the time it became lousy, and his career in shittery took off from there. Like some kind of lanky Hannibal Lecter, Fallon has always looked to me like he’s wearing the flayed face of Robert Romanus, but unfortunately he doesn’t possess any of his charisma or personality. Jimmy Fallon is a walking contradiction; he’s a presenter but he sucks at presenting, he’s a comedian but his comedy is lame, and he’s an impressionist but most of his impressions are mediocre. So I reiterate, why is this ferret in a suit still on TV?
Poor Little Jimmy Wouldn’t Let Go.