Caricatures

What Went Wrong With… Georgia May Jagger?

Caricature of Georgia May Jagger with a paraody of Rimmel Ad Tagline by whatwentwrongwith.comNepotism is an increasing problem in contemporary society, especially in the world of showbiz. Take a look at the celebrities of today, and you will notice that the vast majority of them are offspring of rich and powerful celebs of yesteryear. My problem with this corruption, is the fact that most (if not all) of these silver-spoon suckers are quite obviously the least qualified people for the “job” they’ve muscled into. None more so than Georgia May Jagger, a so-called fashion model with a fame-littered family tree and a face like an Easter Island statue.

Georgia May Jagger is the result of a lip-filled carnal catastrophe between Rolling Stone front-man Mick Jagger and model Jerry Hall. Jerry Hall was quite attractive back in the day, but Mick Jagger though gifted at music, has always possessed a wrinkled and lopsided, almost caricatured face. And that’s where Georgia May’s problems began; when this over-privileged brat first uttered the words “can I be a model like mummy?”, I guess nobody had the chutzpah to say “no you can’t sweetie, because you’ve got your father’s looks”.

This isn’t the first time that one of Mick Jagger’s kids has intruded into modelling; his daughter Jade Sheena Jezebel Jagger (daughter of model Bianca Jagger) dabbled in the profession in spite of her pudgy, dull looks. Then Elizabeth Scarlett Jagger (the other daughter of Jerry Hall) fannied about modelling for the likes of Tommy Hilfiger looking like some saluki-human cross-breed, and now we have Georgia May Jagger following in both their foul footsteps.

Only in a world where nepotism is preferred over a meritocracy, would this trio of entitled tits be considered models. Despite Georgia May Jagger being more Moai Moai than Miu Miu, her farcical facial features don’t seem to hinder her modelling for some major fashion companies such as Versace and Vivienne Westwood. These days you can find her twatting about in cosmetic ads for Rimmel, strutting around and smiling with a mouthful of jagged teeth like some kind of catwalk chainsaw. Her ivories alone are downright laughable especially in the world of “beauty”, and despite her crooked, chewed-up chompers contributing to the stereotype of British people, this socialite never seems to visit a non-NHS Cosmetic Dentist to get them corrected. Hey, we wouldn’t want her monstrous… I mean memorable features removed; God-forbid the public look elsewhere for examples of genuine beauty.

Georgia May Ayeesha Jagger is quite obviously unattractive for a fashion model, she’s not weirdly unattractive either (since looking “weird” sometimes qualifies people for modelling) instead she’s just some average-looking woman who resembles an Austin Powers Impersonator with a mild case of Craniodiaphyseal Dysplasia. Let’s face it, if she wasn’t related to Mick fucking Jagger and Jerry frigging Hall, she wouldn’t even be allowed to model a welding helmet.

Georgia May Not.

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5 replies »

  1. How she ended up in plenty of adverts for Burberry and Rimmel London is something I’ll never know. What I definitely know,however, is that she is probably the result of Mick Jagger cheating on Jerry Hall with a horse. That’s how Georgia got her ugly teeth from.
    Nepotism and Networking are fucking everywhere in society, particularly in the entertainment industry. It’s not what you do, it’s who you know. After Earth was the most blatant example of nepotism. The movie was probably made to give Will Smith’s son, Jaden, some credibility. Every Adam Sandler movie shoved his fellow hack friends, Kevin James and Rob Schneider, in our faces. There was Hulk Hogan’s daughter, Brooke Hogan. Despite having no experience in the wrestling business, she ended up featuring in TNA Wrestling’s prominent storylines to the point that the show is all about her. Nepotism is rampant in wrestling. There was obviously Bret Hart (member of the legendary Hart family), The Rock (third generation wrestler), and the Guererro family; but at least they were talented. There also were hacks like Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff (sons of Gerald Brisco and Eric Bischoff respectively) who have no business being in the ring. You could not forget Randy Orton( third generation wrestler, son of “Cowboy” Bob Orton) with his mediocre skills. Triple H, despite being good wrestler, benefitted significantly from marrying the daughter of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. He moved higher up the card and is now being hyped up as the next owner of WWE. There was also Hulk Hogan (yet again) shoving his friends Buba The Love Sponge, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall in the fan’s face while he was on WCW and TNA. In fact, the Hulk Hogan-facilitated networking played a role in WCW later closing their doors.
    Nepotism and Networking are bad for society. It slows down progress and can, in the case of WCW, even destroy companies. Shows like Rich Kids of Beverly Hills shamelessly promote this. We are constantly told to make connections and the word “networking” constantly come out of people’s mouth. Job applications are even requiring references. So now your skills don’t even matter? The only way to get hired is through other people’s recommendations? No wonder there is unemployment on the rise.

    • Maybe use some fucking punctuation before chiming in at 3:44 in the frigging morning.

      “awfully saddos” – don’t you mean “awful saddos”?

      And by the way, this isn’t malicious in any way. A model puts their face and body out there as an example of beauty, and I as a consumer have the right to say whether I think they’re beautiful – it’s the same as critiquing a movie. Let’s face facts, if she didn’t have her celebrity mother and father, would Georgia May be a model?

      Get a clue!!

  2. This happens in USA politics too. Some examples now. It’s frequent. Hillary Clinton is the wife of a former US president. This leads to the nepotism of the Clintons, where she only got famous cuz of her last name. This may be the only reason she has a career. Donald Trump won the presidency in 2016. His father was a real estate developer in NYC area. His children, with Ivana, are all in his real estate empire he grew. Ivanka, though she’s hot, Eric and Donald Jr. Gary Johnson, the Liberterian candidate, had famous roots. His mother Lorraine was in the bureau to help Native Americans in the country. Ted Cruz has his wife in Goldman Sachs. Though the true liberal base disliked him for that. Rand Paul, who was my favorite candidate. His dad Ron served Congress as someone who fought for limited government and civil liberties. So that’s what’s up. U could have done the same modeling article on Cara Delevigne of Britain. She is also in a connected family tree. Chau, man.

  3. I never thought Jerry Hall was very pretty. A combination of Jerry and Mick is not good. But they have more money than I or most will ever have. Also the kids more entertainment jobs than most will ever have due to a famous parents.Like Wolfgang Van Halen, it is easy to get a job in the band , ect if Mom or Dad started it, or isis best friends with, ect.

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