Another Comedy Central Roast took place recently, and even though it was titled “The Roast Of Justin Bieber” it was once again a pretext to tell prejudicial jokes; not about Bieber’s ethnicity, but about the ethnicity of the “darker” celebs on and off stage.
At the Justin Bieber Roast we saw the same lame faces we always see at these non-events. Once again Jeff Ross crawled out from under his rock like an obese troll dressed in a smoking jacket that looked like it was nicked from a charity shop doorway. Even though he showed up minus his usual clown-afro wig with a beard chin-strap, his jokes were as usual; race-oriented. Ross’ routine included one about the stage looking like the “Comedy Central March on Ferguson”, Shaquille O’Neal being the original 2 Chainz because “that’s how he was brought to this Country”, and Justin Bieber dumping Selena Gomez “because she grew a moustache before him”. But that’s okay, because surely Ross told jokes about Bieber being French, English, Irish, or about him being white? Err… no. Instead he seemed to be looking for the nearest brown target like an American-made, Israeli missile. He did tell a solitary joke about Anne Frank, but that wasn’t aimed at the ethnicity or creed of the Caucasians on stage; so that was just a red kosher herring.
Jeff Ross when he’s not appearing on a Roast, loves entertaining and sucking-up to the Troops like the out-of-touch, old white prick he is. This fat slob whose bulbous face looks like Bernard Manning with acne, seems to only work once a year. And that begs the question; what the fuck does this tub of lard do between roasts… eat? Grow some pubes on his fat neck, shave them off, eat some more? I guess the rest of the year he’s writing racist jokes or busy switching-up his “look” between “The Seth Rogen‘s Nut-Sack Look” (when he has a beard), “The Michael Cera’s Pervy Uncle Look” (when he has no beard), or more recently “The Transsexual’s Dilator” aka “The John Wayne Gacy-cum-Dennis Rader Love-Child Look” (now that he’s bald). But I digress, back to the Roast Of Justin Bieber.
This time around, we also had the weird inclusion of Martha Stewart. Stewart, a walking example of white privilege (who was only sentenced to five months for Conspiracy charges when in all likeliness a minority would have been jailed for a lot longer) now feels the need to tell “jail credibility” jokes at an event where she looked more out of date and out of place than her “Martha Stewart Living” kitchen cabinets. God only knows why she was even there; to tell her “Gingerbread man left in the oven too long” joke? Why doesn’t she fuck off and stencil some colour-blind billionaire’s wall, the wrinkly, old, prejudice twat.
Natasha Leggero was of course also present, still looking like an over-privileged cunt in a cocktail dress. Similar to The Roast Of James Franco, Leggero spent several minutes on her dull, standardised, “racist diatribe”, and no Natasha; that’s not when white people commit genocide. Once again she told her painfully unfunny jokes like the one about Kevin Hart looking like “someone put 50 Cent in a dryer” and one about Hart playing “Peter Dinklage’s shadow”. Once again this pug-looking, pug-ugly tart had something racist to say about every black person on stage, but when it came to Jeff Ross she avoided Jewish jokes at all cost. I guess out of all the minorities, Jews are somehow protected from racist jesting… because those jokes are “anti-Semitic”; all other forms of prejudice are conveniently labelled “a bit of comedic fun”. A great example of equality in the media, wouldn’t you agree?
Kevin Hart was this year’s main white-ass-kisser, and he was busy laughing, clapping, and even standing-up for Leggero’s racist output like a darker Aziz Ansari. And on that note, what was Dave Chappelle doing in such a mainstream hate-fest? Seeing him in the audience of a Justin Bieber Roast made me wonder if he was ever part of any real counter-culture movement or whether he was always in reality a secret fan of prejudicial pop culture.
Year in and year out, these so-called Roasts seem to be the place to air all the racist jokes from all the mediocre white stand-up comedians. They then invite some black celebrity grovellers, and act like these offensive racial tirades are okay because the shoe-shining, sell-outs on stage are laughing at their camouflaged hate speeches. There seems to be a distinct lack of fairness at these events; the white comedians tell every racist joke under the sun as long as it’s about people of colour, but when it comes to the white people on stage; they only get mocked about their career choices or celebrity lifestyle. And the back-stabbing black comedians are fine with mocking their own race, but seem strangely tame when it comes to bringing up the Caucasian race… seem familiar? Watch a Comedy Central Roast and it’s almost as if you’ve travelled back forty-something years. So what’s the difference between these contemporary stand-ups and those old “an African and a Mexican walk into a bar” jokes that used to get told in some dingy Working Men’s Club? …Nothing, but the media has cleverly re-branded racism as a “Roast” so now it’s okay for the imbecilic masses to openly laugh at prejudice.