From the opening scene of the Girls pilot episode, with Lena Dunham’s character Hannah Horvath gobbling down pasta like a deranged leach, we are introduced to the beige and banal world of the white, upper-middle-class, twenty-something New Yorker. With art almost imitating life, Hannah the wannabe writer sits across from her Professor parents at a restaurant table, and begins arguing about how she should be bankrolled by them for a little longer. With no job, and with her parental purse-strings being cut, Hannah spurts the idiotic line “I am [busy] trying to become who I am” (which makes even less sense when you read it out) and yet astonishingly this kind of nonsensical gibberish has attracted enough backing for five seasons of this mundane and poorly written show.
Lena Dunham is no John Hughes, she isn’t even a Larry David. Nothing Dunham writes comes close to a line like “screws fall out all the time, the world’s an imperfect place”, instead this hack writes shite like “I’m eating grapes as a snack”… great writing Lena, which prick eats grapes as a meal? This mediocre writing masquerading as natty is then edited down to a handful of sound-bites taken from an entire season to showcase Dunham’s supposed talent. So we have idents on TV with the character Adam saying racist shit like “you look like a Mexican teenager” or Hannah saying “I’m an individual and I feel how I feel when I feel it”. And yet even out of context (or in context for that matter) these lines are flaccid, meaningless, and ultimately pointless. How surprising then, that this kind of mediocrity attracted the similarly overrated so-called comedy writer and producer Judd Apatow. With these two hacks bootlicking each other for the past few years, the ruination of contemporary comedy is now quite apparent, and with crap like “Tiny Furniture”, “Girls”, “Knocked Up” and “This Is 40”, both these drab dorks are to blame for the destruction of mainstream comedy and drama. But I digress, back to the show itself.
With an acoustic guitar strumming in the background making an already mediocre show seem even more dull and depressing, the typical Girls viewer has a choice to make; either nod off or cancel your cable subscription. For if you persist in watching an entire episode (or God-forbid an entire season) of Girls; you’ll find yourself so filled with hatred that you’ll want to attack the first white New York hipster you come across.
Girls is the kind of show that wishes it was current. You’ll find characters gibbering on about Facebook and texting like someone on the wrong side of twenty trying to be relevant and in vogue (but failing miserably). Against all these faux-modern contrivances there is a distinct lack of plot, and an entire show can pass by without the cast achieving anything. In fact Girls is like a strange televisual temporal illusion where half an hour feels like a lifetime. You can watch an entire 35 minute episode and as the credits roll, you’ll realise that nothing remotely interesting has happened and weirdly you’re no further along in the storyline. God only knows what’s supposed to be entertaining about a group of middle-class plain-looking women moping about through their uneventful lives. OMG, she’s going through a break up, how so interesting… not.
With all her pudgy flesh constantly on show, Lena tries every contrived tactic in an attempt to appear edgy, from riding her black boyfriend to eating a cupcake in the bath with her female friend Marnie. Wow, naked overweight interracial sex and nearly-nude girl-girl non-frolicking, how contemporary and different. Dunham seems to have delved into her bag of narrative tricks and pulled out everything. Oh look, she’s helping Adam piss into a bedpan; how awkward, and now look, she’s got her saggy tits out, and she said “cum” and “eat you out” for the umpteenth time; how avant-garde and original for HBO. Aside from seeing Lena’s tits and arse and aside from the occasional wannabe witty line, there is literally nothing going on. The lead character is fat, the plot is thin, the conversation is dull, and the characters themselves are some of the weirdest, most lopsided looking faces this side of a circus mirror. Girls is like watching a hedonist orgy, it may look like something interesting is going on, but look closely and you’ll see that the heaving pile of drooping hideousness is repetitive and unimpressive.
More entertaining than Girls, is Lena herself. You can find her pratting about on various red carpets resembling a toilet-roll doll cover with wonky hair, trying to make some ironic statement about how a plain chubby woman can somehow fit into a floral outfit two sizes too small. With her trussed-up tits packed into an unsightly dress like some Dinner-lady wrapped in twine, she usually looks like a psychotic Nurse who keeps scrap-books of her victims wandering around on Day Release. Catch Dunham at any public appearance and a quick glimpse of her is more entertaining than all the episodes of Girls put together.
With four seasons (so far) of pure unadulterated crapiness to her name, Lena Dunham for some unknown reason is still described by the media as the “voice of a generation”. If that’s true, then I guess everyone in their late twenties is an irritating, overrated, over-privileged twat.
Categories: Caricatures, Celebrities, Reviews, Television
Lena Dunham’s minions are typical combat-boots wearing, university dorm-living, lecture-attending, shitty-punk listening middle-class Riot Grrrls. They are all clones of one another, usually have a fat snarly face, and despise being challenged.
These girls can’t even:
-Attempt to lose a few pounds
-Wash their hair
-Keep a job
-Refrain from sucking a guy off they met 5 minutes ago
No wonder they turn to and support this crap, how very convenient!
And explain to me how they could ever succeed in a male-dominated field. Thing is, they wont have to; not with a trust-fund, inheritances and real-estate purchased by their grandparents 70 years ago. FUCK THEM ALL.
Thanks for the truth once again, your hard work is much appreciated :)))))))))
Ha ha! Great points as always.
should’ve been called “Basic Bitches” instead of “Girls”. “I feel how I feel when I feel it” – may be she thinks she’s Nas…
The show sucks, but your fat-shaming hatred is out of place. There’s nothing wrong with being fat. Overweight people exist in the real world, and it’s time they appear on TV, too. I bet you’d love it if every show about women featured skinny, tall, blonde girls, you close-minded ranter.
The second to last paragraph of the article describes Lena Dunham to a T, it doesn’t describe ALL OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE, that’s just you jumping to conclusions.
The way you assume I’m denigrating Dunham because of her weight is nonsensical, you seem to be the kind of fool who thinks overweight people are immune to criticism, but if a skinny man or woman looked wrong in their outfit would you be so outraged at me criticising them?
That by the way is how objective opinions work; you said “The show sucks” and that was YOUR OPINION. What would you have felt if someone then started yelling at you with a similar argument to yours… “Why can’t overweight women write TV shows, is it because you hate overweight women writing for television!?”
For reference, this is what an attractive overweight woman looks like…
And this is what Lena Dunham’s chewed-up arse looks like…
By comparison, Dunham is thinner than Ashley Graham but a thousand times more unattractive. Lena’s shitty hair-cut and ghastly dress look horrid ON HER specifically; not on all overweight women.
The fact that I had to bring out an example proves how assumptive your viewpoint is, when I berated Sarah Silverman because of her appearance, or when I called Kate Beckinsale or Natasha Leggero “scrawny” you didn’t jump to defend them. Maybe the problem with weight and aesthetics lies with you.
Just out of curiosity, why have you elected Lena Dunham to be the sole representative of overweight people? Can’t you pick someone who actually looks good being larger (as well as someone who isn’t a talentless hack) surely that would be better?
I don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of the show New GIrl, but reading this article made me think of the same bland, white, middle class world that the show puts you in, although rather than New York, it’s set in LA, and the characters are in their 30’s. Like Girls, New Girl’s writing is bland and unfunny, and often full of bigoted subtexts that fly by unnoticed by the brainless viewer base. In a minstrel show-esque fashion, the storyline follows the love lives and drama within the white characters’ mundane existences, and defaults to the black characters for comic relief, which often have racist/sexist/homophobic undertones. Even one of the white characters, Schmidt, is often caricatured for his Jewishness and homosexual appearance.
Fox’s purpose in letting this garbage on air is to perpetuate gender roles and keep minority stereotypes acceptable, all under the innocent guise of a “quirky” main character and her crazy friends. I’m very curious to see what you’d have to say about it, if you can find time to just watch the pilot. I think the main characters could be made into excellent caricatures.
I’ve seen bits of the show and from the parts I saw I just found it unfunny. The horribly depressing tone, the bland middle-class characters, and the crappy flashbacks were enough to put me off watching any more. Plus the inclusion of Jake Johnson / Damon Wayans Jr. from the lame Let’s Be Cops was enough to stop me from watching it further. Since I’ve never seen a full episode I’ve not seen anything stereotypical or racist in the show, for me it was just dull and tame.