Noel Fielding is a great example of the type of person you will encounter in any Art and Design College throughout the UK. Art Universities across the nation for countless years have been attracting these superficial inductees who feel the need to reinforce their “Artiness” with a false façade made of make-up and vintage garments. The Entertainment Industry which acts as a relief valve to the Arts Education System, then scoops up the overspill and proceeds to transform it into a pool of “eccentric” Stars.
Without the media hype, these tits are quite obviously unexceptional, they are only “bizarre” and “peculiar” to dreary idiots and suit-wearing sheep. I mean it would be great if for once, these over-the-top jesters would backup their looks with worthwhile Art, but when it comes to Fielding in particular this is not the case. Watch Noel on any TV Show, any Stand-Up gig, or any interview and you will witness someone who is average at Comedy, average at Acting, and average at Art. In fact anything Mr. Fielding creates is average at best, and his “strange” and “unique” fake-sub-culture style seems to be a distraction from his unremarkable output. His fans who scuttle around this charlatan like crabs around a cunt, will have you believe he is the master of wit and Surrealist Art, but ignore these brainwashed fools and you will see Noel Fielding is an amalgamation of all things perceived to be weird in a fake middle-class-approved construct of individuality.
Draped in vintage tat in the hopes he will absorb culture through osmosis, Fielding dresses himself in capes and cowboy boots with the expectation that they will transform him into a Surrealist genius. Noel can even reel off names of talented people as his influences; but all this doesn’t make his excrement exceptional. He is no David Bowie, he is no Salvador Dalí, he isn’t even a Jim Morrison. He is a fake-surrealist, Dalí-wannabe, Joan Jett-haired, Simon Le Bon-faced, Sergio Pizzorno lookalike, Vic Reeves clone, Kool Kieth biting, Lord Sutch impersonator.
Everything Fielding has ever created is essentially a re-hash of something else we’ve already seen (that was better). It’s as though anything and everything from Monty Python, Reeves & Mortimer, Rik Mayall, Kenny Everett to Keith Thornton, is referenced and then badly re-enacted as he channels fellow Goth-Glam-throwback-twat Russell Brand (who coincidently is a friend of Fielding). Hanging around with the grubby-cock that is Brand, the pair when not destroying Comedy are usually cunting around pretending to be Rock Stars. You may catch Fielding fucking around at the sell-out NME Awards (the same NME who invited Girls Aloud that year) and you may also find him twatting about at the sell-out Glastonbury Festival (the same Glastonbury that invited the likes of Dolly Parton and Jay-Z). Coupled with the fact that he is dating an XFM DJ, the man just oozes “Indie” credibility.
I mean, c’mon who prats about trying to look “underground” but then turns up to anything “Pop” at the drop of a Spirit Of Jazz’ Hat. This switch-sider once told The Guardian that “The X-Factor Sucks”. A great stance to take if it wasn’t for the fact that Noel himself has appeared on numerous jejune mainstream televisual drivel. I guess Chelsea Lately and The Jonathan Ross Show are the epitome of left-field ideas to Fielding; who has appeared on garbage ranging from Gadget Man to The One Show.
Noel also appeared on the Channel 4 show “The First Look” interviewing Damien Hirst a few years back. When Art Critic Waldemar Januszczak caught flack from Fielding’s Twitter fans for saying hiring him was “like draping a naked woman across a bonnet to sell a car”, Januszczak failed to recognise that Fielding interviewing Hirst was quite apt; since both of them are overrated and talentless wannabe-Artists.
Modern Art hasn’t recovered ever since Duchamp literally took the piss, but for almost one hundred years we have had to put up with perpetual non-artistic-ness from the Art World. The public have now grown tired of hollow and meaningless Art, we are now weary of the spiritual descendants of R. Mutt who seem to get away with Artistic crimes under the guise of Post-modernism. Mutt’s latest offspring seems to be going one step further by infecting genres outside of the visual Arts with his freaky forgeries. This idiosyncratic imposter like most other graduates of Art and Design; is in reality a fake Comedian, a fake Actor, and a fake Artist. Just watch Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy on E4 tonight for proof.