Anybody who remembers the hype that surrounded Canibus in the late nineties remembers that almost everyone was on his side during the beef he had with LL Cool J. But like some kind of Hip-Hop train wreck, over the years that followed, he completely destroyed any credibility and popularity he once had. In the present day, Canibus is about as relevant as the internet dial-up tone that played on the intro to his début album.
Today, after almost a decade languishing in the basement below the underground, Canibus is a washed-up and insignificant rapper whose latest album “Fait Accompli” reinforces the fact that he is now inconsequential in the contemporary Hip-Hop scene.
If you’re someone who doesn’t know who Canibus is (and let’s face it, in 2014 there’s a lot of you) then let me run through the facts…
- In 1997, he featured on a few underground tracks and became known for multisyllabic rap even though Big Pun, Chino XL, G Rap, and the entire Nexx Level/Rockboy Click had already made the style popular.
- In the following year, he became known for starting a weird beef with LL Cool J over his ‘microphone’ arm tattoo.
- His first album “Can-I-Bus” was panned by the critics. The album was a flop.
- Not acknowledging his own short-comings, he blamed Wyclef (who produced the album) for the failure.
- Without Wyclef, he released his second album two years later. It was a failure too.
- He then started an even weirder feud with Eminem by pretending to play the character of “Stan” (created by Eminem) in his own sequel “You Didn’t Care”. He even created his own all-white group called “C4” in a strange homage to Eminem’s all-black group “D12” who featured in his third album “C! True Hollywood Stories”.
- After 9/11 he released the horridly racist and Islamophobic track “Draft Me” in which he rapped “Draft me, I wanna fight for my country, jump in a Humvee and murder those monkeys”.
- He later signed up with the US Army stating “I enlisted because I wanted to get away from the music”. Two years later and without seeing any action, he was discharged for smoking marijuana. This was quite ironic since Canibus wanted to leave Hip-Hop to smoke Arabs but returned for smoking cannabis only to get bodied by an Arab-American…
- …The Arab-American I’m referring to was Dizaster to whom Canibus shamefully lost his rap battle with after he pulled out a notepad of pre-written lyrics (even though it was supposed to be a freestyle). He also, at every opportunity whipped out old lines from old songs including the now tired “mic on my arm” lyric like some kind of bad joke…
…You would think that after this crappy résumé Canibus would want to come back strong, but with his latest album “Fait Accompli” he brings us probably his weakest LP yet.
The album opens and closes with Jimi Hendrix’ “Star Spangled Banner” playing in the background, an apt choice since Jimi Hendrix was a son of a soldier who himself joined the Army and then later became “anti-war”. Similar to Hendrix, Canibus who became an ultra gung-ho and pro-US prick after 9/11, with this album he seems to have done a complete 180 and at every opportunity barks some hollow lefty bullshit in order to appease his detestable past. With all the pseudo-political interview sound-bites playing in-between songs, there seems to be more skits than tracks on this crappy album. But once Canibus does begin to rap, he weaves so much counterfeit “conspiracy theory” content with the neutral nothingness, that after hearing one or two tracks you realise that he’s rapping without really saying anything.
Canibus has now sold out more times than any other “Artist” in the entertainment industry. With the title track he begins an annoyingly fake theme of dragging conspiracy theories into his music, and by uttering almost constant buzzwords like “Martial Law” “New World Order” and “Police State” throughout the album, you wonder how much more this lame Ray Charles lookalike can sell out. I mean after the anti-Muslim “Draft Me” track, this idiot now spits “I wanna see racism stop” in the track “The Future”. And after dissing Wyclef for his bad production, “Fait Accompli” contains some of the worst production since “Rip Rock”. Just listen to “Pay Me In Gold”, “The Primary Axiom”, and the aforementioned “The Future” if you want to bear witness to the worst kind of amateurish faux-underground production. And if they’re not bad enough for you, the track “Historic” features the worst production to be heard on anything… ever.
For someone who made the song “Channel Zero” on his first LP which alluded to various conspiracy theories including mind control and also the military/government involvement in such conspiracies, it is completely dumbfounding that once the Twin Towers collapsed this imbecile rushed to believe the government’s spiel and joined the US Army. And now we’re supposed to believe he’s gone “back to his roots” and take his latest conspiracy-filled album seriously?
“Fait Accompli” is crammed with contrived fake counter-culture terms without Canibus having an actual stance on any topic. Talking about people being “abused by the state” after he joined up in the Army and also worked for the Department Of Justice is the dumbest stance he could take. In fact, almost everything he utters in this album contradicts anything he said from “C True Hollywood Stories” onward. The fact that he’s put little or no effort into this garbage, makes the album even more pointless, and with Canibus’ almost dumbed-down, slow flow, without his trademark rhyme style, and with the shittiest album cover in the history of album covers; this has to be the most disappointing shit he’s ever released.
An album which contains more filler than Joan Rivers and more hollow sentiments than Barack Obama, “Fait Accompli” is not only way too long, it’s way too late, and way too lame. In fact, if we do some of his own so-called “Niggonometry” on him, we can confirm that Canibus is now lame to the nth degree: if you take a sell-out rapper and times him by the amount of times he fucked someone over; then what do you have? Answer: Germaine “Lame” Williams.
He once rapped “9 out of 10 of these rap artists is garbage” on the track “Get Retarded”, but after the millennium, he became one of the 9. Tracks like “Second Round K.O.” are now so far in the past that it would take something astonishing to make Hip-Hop fans buy into him again, and unfortunately for Canibus “Fait Accompli” is not it.
Back in 1997 nobody thought James was Cool and no Lady Loved him, but after seventeen years of bad decisions, Canibus is now ironically known for giving LL’s career a boost whilst simultaneously fucking his own up. More than a decade and a half later and now looking like a starving Grace Jones tribute act, this has-been, or more accurately never-been; is now a never-will-be.
Can I Bust.