What Went Wrong With… Riff Raff & The Recent Ebonitis Epidemic?

Caricature of Riff Raff with text "Neon Moron" by What Went Wrong With

It’s 2013 and Hip-Hop is almost dead thanks to a handful of lame faux-MC’s that spurt out the same lyrical content on every track they spit on. Contrivances like “Clubs”, “Cars”, “Clothing Labels”, and “Champagne” is all these cunts seem to yap on about. If it weren’t for a small amount of underground artists like The Underachievers and Pro Era, Hip-Hop would be well and truly buried. In this pool of rancid Hip-Pop shit, it is hard to find the shittiest, but one of the biggest pieces of crap in recent years is the rapper known as Riff Raff, also known as Jody Highroller, previously known as MTV Riff Raff, and should be known as the present day Vanilla Ice aka today’s MC Miker G.

With an MTV logo tatted on his neck, Riff Raff is a fake white creation; a caricature of what is perceived by the masses to be a Rapper, and like many of his crappy contemporaries; Riff Raff is known for a dumbed-down flow, corny cornrows, and some stupid same-sounding songs.

Every one of Riff Raff’s tracks tries to sound as trappish as possible, but they all end up sounding more trash than trap with their crappy hooks and lyrics even a toddler could shit on. His past contributions to music include the lame and uninspiring “Snow White And The Seven Grams” and the wack-as-fuck “Suck My Dick With A Motherfuckin Condom On”. In the video for “Suck My Dick”, Jody Highroller even attempts at furthering his fake blackness by cooking yams in the opening scene.

This strange “I wish I was black” syndrome which has affected many Caucasians of late has been largely ignored by the mainstream media (just look at Miley Cyrus on Mike WiLL’s “23”). A caricature of a black person on a black performer is bad enough, but when transposed onto a white act it is embarrassingly cringe-worthy, but nobody seems to call these people out on it. With Riff Raff, his constant wearing of gaudy jewels and gold fronts; all seem a calculated attempt at stereotyping Hip-Hop and in turn black culture. Never since Bo Derek in “10” has a white person looked this ridiculous in cornrows, and just like Bo Derek, this whiteboy gets no flack for appropriating and consequently cheapening a black look.

In Riff Raff’s completely crap collaborative effort “Michelle Obama”, this case of ebonitis is the most obvious. On this track, Riff Raff joins forces with the wigger First Lady Lil’ Debbie. Lil Debbie, if you don’t know, is an über-lame wannabe-rapper-cum-hanger-on who makes the likes of Iggy Azalea and even Anna Perp look credible. her crappy clique known as White Girl Mob consisting of herself, Kreayshawn, and V-Nasty (who thought she was so black she used the N Word a while back) are all as wiggerish as Riff Raff, but more importantly; they’re all worse rappers than Riff, which is saying something.

Back to the subject of Riff Raff, his solo wackness hit its pinnacle this summer in the track “Dolce & Gabbana” in which he mispronounced-on-purpose as “Do’ce & Gabban’” and made an even bigger fool of himself (and Hip-Hop) in the process.

All this shit would be funny, if Riff Raff was a Cyderdelic-style character, or an elaborate piece of performance art created to highlight the depths of bullshit that Rap has now sunk itself in; but sadly this is the actual level of contemporary Hip-Hop. Lame sellouts like The Far East Movement and Chief Keef seem fine doing tracks with this prick, and on his upcoming album “Neon Icon”, Riff Raff will collaborate with the equally sellouty Drake, Big Sean, 2 Chainz and the famous white-black-caricature-facilitator A$AP Rocky.

It seems like some kind of conspiracy, the way that major labels (and even independent ones) perpetuate the stereotype of the ignorant Rapper. Since the mid-nineties, Hip-Hop has slowly been changed in order to profit from its downfall. The black CNN has become the black MTV or E! The biggest part of this problem stems from not calling something shitty if it’s obviously shit. I cannot believe the amount of times I have heard someone say “Yeah he/she’s lame, but I respect his/her hustle”. In reality it’s the real Hip-Hop fans that are getting hustled in this wave of complacency. If something is wack; don’t buy into its wackness, plain and simple.

Riff Raff is one of the worst sounding and worse looking Hip-Hop acts out right now. With his eyes which look like the Children Of The Damned and his stale-looking glasses which resemble Lab goggles that even Timmy Mallett or Dame Edna Everage wouldn’t be seen dead in; Riff Raff is a head-to-toe joke. With a girls name as his moniker; Jody is an apt name for a fool who curls his hair and looks like a bitch. His Aryan blue eyes and blonde cornrows look like the result of a Nazi experiment in how to infiltrate Hip-Hop. Riff Raff is a disgrace to music.

Neon Moron.

7 replies »

  1. Have you ever heard of irony? Come on man, open your eyes. Some of these foolish people are spreading an ironic message. Your analysis of famous people and what they’re actually thinking is really narrow-minded. Do you even live in LA, or see shows?

    • This is the age-old argument going on in every English Literature Class across the World, however the main thing to take into account is intention. If the Artist themselves intended to be ironic or satirical, then fine. Music, Film, TV etc. is not ironic just because one interprets it that way, it has to be part of the Artist’s original concept; it cannot be labelled ironic after the fact by one or a few fans. I don’t have to live in LA (or any other den of iniquity masquerading as a hub of Artistry) to know that.

    • He’s part of a comedy rap group called Three Loco, eats Cheetos non-stop in his music videos, and wears a blinged out Icee cup around his neck… I could have sworn he was a fucking parody.

    • Even if it was ironic that would be pretty fucked up. Riff Raff would be putting on one of the biggest modern minstrel shows ever intentionally. How would the fact that it was purposefully stupid make it any better if the songs themselves don’t contain any subtle message behind it’s irony. Riff Raff an all these other senseless trap rappers are just easy ways for hipsters too listen to dumbed down hip hop without appearing to be apart of the mainstream.

  2. What is this obsession with black culture nowadays? Everyone and their mum wants to be black, but don’t even know what it really means to be black. As the saying goes, everyone wants to be black until it’s time to be black. These idiots who appropriate black culture will never face the hardships black people face. Once they are tired of that aesthetic, they can always change at any time. For black people and other minorities, these aesthetics are permanent. What really pisses me off is how black people are dissed for their looks, styles, and music; but when white people do it, it is called “hot”, “trendy”, “cool” or “the next-it thing”. It is insulting and disrespectful. Since people are so obsessed with being black, I will tell you what “being black” is. Being black is being white, latino, asian, arab, native, gay, muslim, christian, jew etc. Being black means being yourself. It means being not conforming to trends and stereotypes. That is what cunts like Riff Raff fail to understand.

  3. Fuck me. Just watched my first Riff Raff videos. And last. People buy that? The music /rap in itself is just…. fucking…. awful. Plus, of course, he clearly is a complete twat. Unless, he is a parady, like Ali G? Can’t be assed to Wiki it…..
    Jeez, I need to listen to something good, right now, just to get my brain back in balance. Just dreadful.


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