Celebrity worship and Reality Television are diseases of this century for which we have yet to find a cure. Since the turn of the millennium, becoming a star has become as straight forward as heating a microwave meal, and like a TV dinner; Reality TV is a tasteless offering filled with cheap ingredients. We have now reached a point when talent is no longer a pre-requisite for celebrity; these days any bland-looking hack can gain praise at the drop of a talent-show hat.
E! Entertainment, which began as one of the catalysts to this Non-Celebrity explosion, has slowly become a creator of, and a hype-man to, a culture of vacuous Pap-hungry pap-smears. Shows like the Kardashians, in which a gaggle of over-privileged nobodies do absolutely nothing; prove how little one has to do in order to make it onto this pointless channel.
On E! there are also shows such as Chelsea Lately in which what looks like a blonde middle-aged burns victim televises her failed attempts at comedy, all the while spewing out casual racism to a panel of boot-licking arse-kissers. Then there is the Fashion Police; where a coven of witches, preside over images of celebrities and give their unqualified opinion. God only knows why a rickety old plastic-has-been, a bean-pole presenter, a pudgy-faced offspring of a talentless Rocker, and usually a token gay guy with no socks; were chosen to be experts of fashion, especially when they themselves are draped in some of the most awful and hideous creations known to gay men.
Finally to round up this line-up of shitsters, there is Terrence “BET Sellout” Jenkins and Giuliana “I survived Cancer” Rancic perpetually standing and grinning as they run through the day’s so-called “celebrity news” in a manner only fit for groupies. In reality, no “news” is ever reported; instead a list of fashion labels and a rundown of star-sightings is read out, in sentences filled with Hollywood abbreviations and out-of-date acronyms such as Photogs, BF, and OMG. E! News is a programme which claims to be entertainment news, but there are more references to labels and brands than actual entertainment bulletins. So concerned is this show with name-dropping designers and designer labels, that the presenters disgorge copious amounts of fashion-factoids at every opportunity; even when the story has nothing to do with style. It’s getting to the point that, if a real story breaks, I wouldn’t be surprised if they said something like…
“…The reality TV Star was brutally raped and killed earlier today. Her lifeless body was found in a stunning Vera Wang dress and Christian Louboutin heals that were so TTDF; they were like, totally to die for…”
The entire channel’s schedule is filled with Showbiz white-noise, and each show’s line-up is made from the most sycophantic presenters ever to grace our screens. The end result is a channel jam-packed with the shittiest of shit. All the flotsam and jetsam from some kind of noughties entertainment shipwreck, it seems has gathered on the shore of this horrid channel, and has since congealed to create an island of non-entertainment now residing in a putrid bubble of fanatic grovellers and celebrity adulators.
Hopefully this bubble filled with fakes and flunkies will soon burst, along with E!
That would be the real Pop of Culture.