What Went Wrong With… Alex Zane?

A caricature of Alex Zane and his hairstyle by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

Alex Zane has been fluking his way through television for quite some time now. This 33 year old, ex-E4, ex-T4 twat seems to be suffering from a premature mid-life crisis with his faux-hipster clothing and fucked-up comb-over which resembles a mutant spider-plant (Chlorophytum Cuntcomosum).

For some unknown reason Zane has been assigned the role of interviewer and presenter on numerous televisual excreta. With his bemused smirk he remains in constant awe of celebrity regardless of the level of talent or charisma he is presented with. This strange-looking sycophant has the same expression when interviewing a talentless hack or a respected artist, his perpetual awe in full-effect when interviewing Justin Timberlake or Ridley Scott for example.

Alex Zane is no Barry Norman; he isn’t even a Barry Scott. Alex just shuffles from one red carpet to another to routinely kiss arse and offer unabashed praise. Surely somebody who is this star-struck should be on the other side of the ropes with all the other fanatics suffering from mass-hysteria?

Fame or lame is the same to Zane.

8 replies »

  1. Haha the length of this one in comparison to your others pretty much resembles my thoughts on him. Hes a guy I probably hear about every other week and he hosts those absurd rude tube shows that only occupy time slots manchildren would have the time to watch.

    Theres worse, but as a personality hes nothing unique.

  2. By asking ‘what went wrong with…..’ you are suggesting that there was something ‘right’ about this goon in the first place. I find that difficult to believe, even during his in-vitro months.

  3. Self possessed, stand in the middle of the steer and look at me tramp belittling craws nest of a heed daftie! Get a real job lad instead of being a creep 👀 for ch4 ya no soul having cuntttt! Away n do something half good instead of being a prick

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