I was all for living a quiet life, being a small-time film critic and keeping shtum about politics, but since the literal arse-end of the entertainment industry are fucking with my reviews, I may as well have an old-school, What Went Wrong With rant… Remember when Islamic terror […]
Twist is arguably one of the worst films ever made, at least that’s what I thought when I legally watched the film back in January this year, after which I wrote a harmless review. After being slapped with a spurious DMCA copyright complaint by CTW Anti-Piracy on behalf […]
Twist is billed as a British crime drama and a modern day take on Charles Dickens’ novel Oliver Twist, but what it actually is; is excrement disguised as a movie. Directed by Martin Owen (nope, me neither) and written by a gaggle of unknowns, Twist seems less like […]
BritBox is a very bland streaming service that’s “created by BBC and ITV” but seemingly cooked-up by a Brexiteer; someone who’s overly-impressed with our country but who’s failed to check what we have the rights to before waving the Union Jack. With its drab, dark grey interface and […]
The mid-to-late ’90s and early ’00s were chock-full of shite Pop music. With bling bling “players” ruining Hip-Hop and backward-baseball-cap-wearing “dudes” wrecking Rock, music was being steered by both sides into a ditch, a ditch that was smack-bang in the middle-of-the-road. Nu-Metal which was a combination of these […]
Jolt, an Amazon Original Movie starring Kate Beckinsale, sounds like a cross between Crank and Hulk but the end result is closer to Kick-Ass and Kingsman in terms of its wannabe-cool superhero and wannabe-relevant comic-book tone. The crux of this film is Lindy (Beckinsale) a protagonist with a […]
A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from my local cinema which opened with the sentence: “Just what did Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff get up to between Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War?” and my response was “Who cares?”. That whole saga is well […]
The Tomorrow War would surely be a flop had it been released in cinemas. A cheap-looking, hackneyed-plotted, science fiction film heaving with militarism isn’t something movie-goers were hankering for but the writer of Deadfall (nope, me neither), the director of The Lego Batman Movie, and “the worst Chris” […]
Seemingly working their way through the function buttons of a keyboard, F9 is the latest film in the Fast & Furious franchise. The plot of this, the ninth movie, doesn’t need much of a synopsis as most of the series is now a convoluted shambles akin to soap […]
In The Earth is one of those boring, pretentious horror films that crop-up now and again, after which a slew of critics proceed to kiss it’s arse. Written and directed by darling of English cinema Ben Wheatley, this is another one of his overrated movies obviously made on […]
I’ll confess I don’t remember much about The Hitman’s Bodyguard, other than hating it. Given that it contained at least two talented actors (Samuel L. Jackson and Gary Oldman) I expected it to make some kind of impression but it didn’t. I guess Jackson and Oldman, who both […]
The third installment in The Conjuring film series subtitled “The Devil Made Me Do It” will be streaming on HBO Max in the U.S. from June 4th along with a theatrical release, and it’ll be released in cinemas-only on May 26th here in the U.K. This is the […]
It’s not like there’s a shortage of zombie-based entertainment. Whether TV shows, films, or games, those decaying, meandering, man-eating corpses are everywhere you look. But what if Hollywood offered us a zombie heist movie? That pricked your ears up didn’t it? 🙄 No, me neither. The truth is: […]
The Woman In The Window was originally scheduled to be released in cinemas in 2019 but after a few test-screenings the film was delayed for re-edits (which is never a good sign). The Coronavirus pandemic then scuppered the 2020 release date so the film was then sold to […]
Synesthesia or Synaesthesia is a neurological condition in which information meant to stimulate one of your senses stimulates another or several of your senses. When I was young, a member of my family described food in terms of colour and shape and it used to sound simultaneously novel […]
Without Remorse isn’t the worst movie around but the problem is we’ve already seen it. Hollywood has been churning out spy-slash-assassin movies for decades and after the James Bond era we had the Jason Bourne era; more grit and more realism, but even that has become a stale […]
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